DAMMING NEW EVIDENCE IN THE JACKSON CASE,
A PAIR OF WHITE GLOVES WITH ONE BROWN FINGER.
Author: admin
I don’t usually pass on unhappy news like…
I don’t usually pass on unhappy news like this, and I know you are busy,
but sometimes we have to pause and remember the things that have deeply
affected our lives. The entertainment world experienced a great loss
today. The composer of the song “Hokey Pokey” died. What really made his
passing so distressing is that they had trouble keeping the body in the
casket.
They’d put his left leg in, he’d put his left leg out… and…well, you
know the rest…
GRAND CANYON
YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE FELL IN THE GRAND CANYON SHE GOT STUCK HALF WAY DOWN
Wool!
Q. Did you know they just discovered a new use for sheep in New Zealand?
A. Wool!
Not specific enough!
A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh.
The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan from her.
The doctor suggests the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn’t want the man to be embarrassed.
The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead.
The doctor asks what happen to which the man replies: “She choked.”
Mr. murphy
there was a man named mr. murphy and he lived in a nursing home. one day his nurse came in and he said “guess what”” and she replied with “”what”” and he said my penis died today. the next day she saw him walking around the halls with his penis hanging out of his gown and the nurse said “”mr. murphy put that away this instant.”” he said “”well i told you my penis died”” she said “”that is no reason to have it hanging out of your gown”” then he said “”today is the veiwing!!””
“
Twenty Two Tadpoles
Twenty two tiny tadpoles tied ten tan neckties tightly to twenty
tall trees twenty years ago this Tuesday at twelve twenty two,
Timex time!
P.S See how fast you can read this without a mistake. If you can
learn it by heart and recite it out loud, you’re a GENIUS!
Wee-wee or Cock?
Tom’s dream was to marry a sweet, innocent virgin. He’d been going with Jane for a few months, when he decided to test her.
As they drove along in the car, he unzipped his fly, turned to her and said, “Do you want to see my wee-wee?”
She yelled, “No! No! Please zip up your fly!”
Instead of being annoyed, Tom was happy.
On the eve of their engagement to be married, he tried the same thing, with the same result.
Finally, on their wedding night, they were alone in the hotel room when he unzipped his fly again and said to her, “Honey, now that we’re married you can now look at what I’ve got here,” and proceeded to take out his dick.
She looked at it and said, “Oh, what a sweet looking wee-wee!”
Tom said, “No darling, you don’t have to call it a wee-wee anymore, you can call it a cock.”
She looked at it a while and then said, “No, Tom, what you have is a wee-wee. A ‘cock’ is long, thick, and black!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
Kids in Hospital
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”
The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze!”
The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”
The first kid says, “A circumcision.”
And the second kid says, “Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”
Wanna be a Stud
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as humans. What’ll it be?”
The first priest says, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky mountains. “So be it,” says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, “Will any of this week ‘count’, St. Peter? “No, I told you the computer’s down. There’s no way we can keep track of what you’re doing. The week’s a freebie.
“In that case,” says the second priest, “I’ve always wanted to be a stud.”
“So be it,” says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests.
“Will you have any trouble locating them?” He asks.
“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.”
“Why?” asked the Lord.
St. Peter answered, “He’s on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota!”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Rita!Rita who?Rita novel!
Knock KnockWho’s there?Rita!Rita who?Rita novel!
There has been an alarming
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.