Author: admin

A newcomer to Portland arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it’s raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and, out of despair, asks, ”Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?” The kid says, ”How should I know? I’m only 6.” *********************************************”I can’t believe it, ” said the tourist. ”I’ve been here in Portland an entire week and it’s done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?” ”Well, that’s hard to say,” replied the local. ”Last year, it was on a Wednesday.” *********************************************What do you call two straight days of rain in Portland? An average weekend. *********************************************In Portland, what do you call a sunny day which follows two wet ones? Monday. *********************************************What did the Portland native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? ”Nice tan.” *********************************************Meteorological experts were predicting a gargantuan rain storm that would destroy the north west with a flood. Rev Jessie Jackson went on national TV and said, ”This is your punishment from God. Prepare to meet your Maker.” The President went on national TV and announced, ”Our scientists have done all they can. The end is near.” The Portland evening news came on and said, ”Today’s five day forecast – same as usual.” *********************************************What does daylight savings time mean in Portland? An extra hour of rain. **************************************************What do you call blue skies in Portland? A 30 second time out. ****************************************************How do they wash the streets in Portland? Please! You’re not from Portland, are you? ****************************************************What’s a great Oregon wine? ”Ohhhhh, it’s raining again….”