Author: admin

Coffee vs. women part 2

Posted on by admin

Why Coffee is Better than Women – Part II

23.If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn’t put on weight.

24.No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.

25.A big cup or small cup? It doesn’t matter.

26.Your coffee doesn’t talk to you.

27.Coffee smells good in the morning.

28.Coffee is good when it’s cold too.

29.Coffee stains are easier to remove.

30.Coffee doesn’t care when you dunk things in it.

31.Coffee doesn’t care what kind of mood you’re in.

32.Coffee doesn’t shed.

33.Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.

34.You can’t get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.

35.Coffee doesn’t mind being ground.

36.No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.

37.Coffee doesn’t have a time of the month – it’s good all the time.

38.When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.

39.When you have a coffee, you don’t end up with a pub in the back of your
throat.

40.Coffee doesn’t take up half your bed.

41.Coffee doesn’t mind if you wake up at 3 am and decide to have a cup.

42.INSTANT COFFEE!

43.You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.

44.It can take up to two weeks for coffee to grow mold.

45.Your coffee won’t be jealous of a larger cup.

Mr. Johnson

Posted on by admin

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to
Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer ([email protected]).

Unfortunately, he forgot his wife’s exact email address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson ([email protected]) of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away.

The preacher’s wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.

When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: “Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here.”

Funny rash

Posted on by admin

This fella goes to the doctor and said, “Doctor, I’ve got a rash round my cock, have you got anything for it?”

The doctor said “Put this on and come back next week if it doesn’t work.”

The bloke comes back the next week and the cream hadn’t worked so he tells the doctor and the doctor gives him more cream and tells him to come back next week if it doesn’t work.

The bloke comes back and the cream still hasn’t worked so the doctor says “Drop your pants.”

The man drops his pants and the doctor has a look and tells him to put another cream on the man then says “Doctor it’s worked!! What was that?”

The doctor replies “Lipstick remover.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited By yisman

Capitalism

Posted on by admin

A little boy goes to his Dad and asks, “What’s politics?”

Dad says, “Well, son, let me try to explain it to you this way.” I’m the
breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me “Capitalism.” Your Mom is the
administrator of the household, so we’ll call her “The Government.”
We’re here to take care of YOUR needs so we’ll call you “The People.” The
nanny works hard all day for very little money so, we’ll consider her “The
Working Class.” And your baby brother . . . we’ll call him “The Future.”

Now, think about that and see if it makes sense. So, the little boy goes off
to bed, thinking about what his Dad has said. Later that night he hears his
baby brother crying so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has
severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door
locked, he peeks into the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the Nanny. He
gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good, son, tell me in
your own words what you think politics is about.”

The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class,
the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future
stinks to high heaven.