Author: admin

Q. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is already
in the U.S.

A new pastor moved into a town, and he went out one day to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came upon this one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20” and stuck it on the back of the door. Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.”

Later in the week, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation “Genesis 3:10.”

Genesis 3:10: “And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked: so I hid myself.”

Paddy and Mike had just arrived in New York from Dublin and were walking
around the city. Since they didn’t know about traffic signals they crossed
the street at will and were almost hit several times. Finally, Officer
Flaherty spots them and comes running up, yelling, “Are ye daft, crossin’
on the red?” “Pardon us, constable,” Paddy says, “but we’ve just come from
the Old Country.” “Ah, well,” the cop says, “that explains it. Listen,
you only cross when the light is green. Ya got that?…only on the green!”
So Paddy and Mike continue their walk, and they wait on the orange and red
and only cross on the green. After they wait through a few orange and red
lights, Paddy turns to Mike and says, “They don’t give the Protestants much
time to get across, do they?”

An American and Japanese were sitting next to each other on a plane. The
American turned and asked the Japanese, “what kind of -ese are you?”

The Japanese man answered, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”

“What kind of -ese are you?� the American repeated. The Japanese was showing
obvious confusion. Irritated, the American explained “are you Chinese, Japanese,
Vietnamese, what?”
“Oh, I’m Japanese.”

Soon after the Japanese turned to the American and asked him what kind of -key
he was. The American, now annoyed, replied “what d’you mean, ‘key’??”

The Japanese asked again, “are you a monkey, a donkey, or a Yankee?”