Author: admin

The Official Blondes Sex Quiz

Posted on by admin

1. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit in the Outback.

2. “Spread Eagle” is an extinct bird.

3. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.

4. The G-string is part of a violin.

5. Anus is the Latin word for yearly.

6. Testicles are found on an octopus.

7. Foetus is a character in “Gunsmoke”.

8. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.

9. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.

10. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

11. Sodomy is a special kind of fast growing grass.

12. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins.

13. Douche is the Italian word for twelve.

14. An enema is someone who is not your friend.

15. Scrotum is a small moon orbiting Uranus.

16. Climax is a weather balloon.

17. Condom is a small apartment complex.

18. Menopause is a button on the VHS remote control.

Penis research comes to a head

Posted on by admin

Three British educational institutions were commissioned by the government to discover why the human penis is the shaped the way it is. Oxford University allocated a budget of �500,000 for research. After 2 years they concluded that the reason the head of the penis is wider than the shaft is that it fits better, when in situ, so to speak. This would prevent leakage of semen and increase the probability of successful fertilisation.

Cambridge University spent �750,000 on a research programme that lasted years. The results showed that the penis widened near the tip because it maximised the number of nerve endings stimulated during sex. This would lead to increased sensitivity and a better chance of impregnation.

Finally, the Open University spent �2.50 on a copy of Playboy and 10 minutes in the staff toilet, only to discover that the penis widens at the tip in order to prevent your hand from slipping off the end.

Un hombre fue a ver

Posted on by admin

Un hombre fue a ver a su doctor para consultarlo sobre la falta de apetito sexual de su mujer. El doctor le dio una botella de p�ldoras y le dijo: “Antes de que su esposa de duerma, dele un vaso de leche con dos de estas p�ldoras y ver� c�mo se pone…”

Esa noche, el tipo hace lo que el doctor le recomend�, pero piensa: “Por qu� ha de tener ella sola toda la diversi�n”, y se toma el resto de las p�ldoras.

Despu�s de media hora los dos se duermen. De pronto, la mujer se levanta en la cama, golpea a su marido y dice, “�Querido, querido, lev�ntate! �Necesito un hombre ahora mismo!”

El marido se sienta en la cama y grita, “�Yo tambi�n, yo tambi�n!”

So much fun

Posted on by admin

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he also wanted video of his wife’s activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man!

He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe.

He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.

“I just can’t believe this,” the distraught husband said.

The detective said, “What’s not to believe? It’s right up there on the screen!”

The husband replied, “I can’t believe that my wife could be so much fun!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Nursing Home Diet

Posted on by admin

A man went to the nursing home to visit his grandfather. “How
are they treating you, grandfather?” he asked. “Fine!” came the
reply, “The nurses here are really nice.” “How is the food?”
“Good!” “Are you sleeping well, grandfather?” “Oh, yes I sleep
nine hours a night.

Every night they bring me a glass of milk and a viagara.”
Worried, the grandson asked the administrators why he was given
viagara. “We give him a glass of warm milk to help him sleep. We
give him viagara to keep him from rolling out of bed.”

Blondes

Posted on by admin

These three women go into a clothing store, a blonde, a red, and a brunette. When they enter the clerk tells them that there is a magic mirror in the fitting and that if you lie you will disappear. The red women goes in and asks for 5,000, when she goes home her house is full of money. The brunette asks for a Mercedes Benz and the keys appear on her hand and the Mercedes is waiting for her outside. The blond goes and says,”I think…..””The blond disappeared because she had said a lie.

“

I’m Not Touching It

Posted on by admin

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing
next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob’s standing
there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the
poor wretch is going to take a leak.

Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help
him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, “Ah, OK, sure, I’ll help
you.” The man asks, “Can you unzip my zipper?” Bob says, “OK.”
Then the man says, “Can you pull it out for me?” Bob replies,
“Uh, yeah, OK.” Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold
and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars,
and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for
him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in
and zips it up. The guy tells Bob, “Thanks, man, I really
appreciate it.” Bob says, “No problem, but what the hell’s wrong
with your penis?” The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and
says, “I don’t know, but I ain’t touching it.”