Religous Horse

A religious man was selling his horse. He taught this horse three commands
walk=hallaliua
run= praise the lord
stop=amen
Well one day a man wanted to buy the horse. So the original owner told him the commands.
The man got on the horse and inmmediatly yelled out praise the lord. The horse started to run. The horse ran and ran. But at the second the man saw a cliff up ahead. He yelled with his lungs Amen but the horse didnt hear him. He said it over and over again but the horse hadent heard him.
At the last second he yelled amen and the horse stoped at the edge of the cliff. He raises his hand wipes his brows and says hallaliua praise the lord and the horse starts running off the cliff.

Blonde on Horseback

A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.  She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.  It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but
she slides down the side of the horse anyway.  The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.  Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.  As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

Estaban dos compadres y le

Estaban dos compadres y le dice uno al otro:

“Oigame, compadre, tengo ganas de coger.”

“Yo tambi�n, compadre.”

“Ay�deme compadre. Usted le hace primero de mujer y luego yo le duvuelvo el favor.”

“Va pues, compadre.”

Ya habi�ndose puesto de acuerdo, se encontraban en eso cuando le dice el compadre que la estaba haciedo de mujer:

“Oiga, compadre, reg�leme un besito.”

“�Nombre, compadre, esas ya son culeradas!”