What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic? Only about 2000 people went down on the Titanic
Author: admin
Bill n’ Hill
Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at the White House. Hillary
wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. “Bill, Bill wakeup.” Bill
stays sleeping. Hillary continues, “Bill, Bill wake up.” Bill finally
wakes up and says, “What do you want?”
Hillary responds, “I have to go use the bathroom.”
To which Bill says, “Please tell me you didn’t wake me up just to tell Me
you have to go to the bathroom.
Hillary says, “No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot.”
Your is so ugly
your so ugly your mama had you, now we know she ugly!
Wedding Pranks
The wedding date was set and the groom’s three pals, a
carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist, were deciding what
pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night. The
carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them
a chuckle or two. The electrician decided to wire the bed. The
dentist wouldn’t commit himself, but wore a sly grin and
promised it would be memorable. The nuptials went as planned and
a few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the
following note:
DEAR FRIENDS,
WE DIDN’T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED.
THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK.
BUT I SWEAR BY GOD ALMIGHTY, I’M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT
NOVOCAINE IN THE K-Y JELLY!”
Pizza parlor
A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she’d like a medium
pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she’d like to have it cut into:
six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don’t think I
could ever eat twelve.
Get out of heaven
your momma is so ugly that god did not let her in heaven.
Sign
your mammas so fat on april fools day instaed of a kick me sign they put wide turn
Digging holes
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.
The other man came along behind and filled in the hole.
While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road.
“I can’t stand this,” said the man, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.
“Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?”
“Well, we work for the county,” one of the men said.
“But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the county’s money?”
“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow.
“Normally there’s three of us … me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.
Now just because Rodney’s sick, that don’t mean that Mike and me can’t work.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
Dos jud�os entran a un
Dos jud�os entran a un restaurante para comer. Al terminar piden la cuenta. El primero le dice al otro: “Paga tu” y el segundo contesta: “No paga tu”
Y as� se quedaron discutiendo por media hora hasta que uno de ellos lleg� con la siguiente idea y le dice a su amigo:
“Ok, hacemos una apuesta. Aqu� hay una pecera, metemos la cabeza ah� y el que la saque primero paga la cuenta.”
Los dos aceptaron la apuesta.
Al siguiente d�a sale en el peri�dico:
“Dos jud�os muertos en una pecera.”
Delivery
Did you hear the latest????. FEDEX is going to merg with UPS….. No kidding ! What will it be called?….FEDUPS!!!!!!!!!!
One of the greatest labor-saving
One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.
Screwed to death?
Screwed to death?A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick, so she proceeded to find herself a rich 75-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a condom to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs.Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, “What are those for?”The elderly groom replied, “There are two things I can’t stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber.”