Yours Fun Portal !
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ivor!
Ivor who?
Ivor good mind not to tell you now!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ivory!
Ivory who?
Ivory strong like Tarzan!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Izzy!
Izzy who?
Izzy come, Izzy go!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jack!
Jack who?
Jackdraft!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Jagger!
Jagger who!
Jagger’d edge!
A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using
sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using
sign language to speak to them.
When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he
had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained
that these were regular customers and had taught him to
speak in sign. The man thought that was great.
A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the
group were waving their hands around very wildly. The
bartender looked over and signed “Now cut that out! I warned
you!” and threw the group out of the bar.
The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said,
“If I told them once I told them 100 times – NO SINGING IN
THE BAR!”
Loblaws has been contracted by the White House to develop a new sauce called “President’s Choice — Memories of Monica.”
The Clinton aides don’t care what it tastes like — their only stipulation is that it doesn’t leave any stains if spilled on your dress.
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
What does princes Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last hit was THE WALL!
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the
ham, she placed the ham in a pan for baking.
Her friend asked her, “Why did you cut off the end of the ham”?
And she replied, “I really don’t know but my mother always did, so I thought
you were supposed to.”
Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the
ham before baking it, and her mother replied, “I really don’t know, but that’s
the way my mom always did it.”
A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked,
“Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?”
Her grandmother replied, “Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan.”
2 BLONDES AND 2 BRUNETTES WERE ON A PLANE AND THEN SUDDENLY FELL OUT. TO SURViVE THEY HAD TO HANG ON TO A ROPE. THE PROBLEM WAS THAT THEY WERE WEiGHiNG THE PLANE DOWN AND 2 PEOPLE HAD TO LET GO.THE BRUNETTES WERE OLDER THEN THE BLONDES AND SED YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR WHOLE LiVES AHEAD OF YOU, WE WiLL LET GO. THE BLONDES WERE SO TOUCHED BY THiS SPEECH THAT THEY BEGAN TO CLAP.
Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2
for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.
Our correspondent in Poland reports that Wojciech Jaruzelski, Tadeusz
Mazowiecki and Lech Walesa met in a summit conference, and the only thing
that they could agree on was that George Bush has a funny name.
From the SF Chronicle, Herb Caen’s column
Dr. Schwartz decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.
Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling, moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.
Fortunately, Dr. Schwartz was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire.
Hours later, when everyone but Dr. Schwartz had returned, a rescue team was sent to search for him. After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate.
Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, “Dr. Schwartz, are you there? It’s the Red Cross.”
Bristling, the harried doctor called back, “I already gave at the office!”
Submitted by Admin
Edited by Calamjo
Welcome to my ool. Notice there is no p in it. Lets keep it that way.