My kid had sex with your honor student.
Author: admin
YOU MEAN ME?A
YOU MEAN ME?A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody move!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
My New PDA
My husband, his best friend, and I were out to lunch the other day when his friend pulled out his new Visor (a Palm-based PDA) with the Cingular-based cellphone attachment. We were discussing the limitations of the phone, namely that it can send instant messages to Cingular and Verizon cellphones, but not Internet-based email. He was attempting to demonstrate using my Verizon phone as the recipient.”Ok, so what’s your cell number?” he asked eagerly. After he tapped in the number and started composing a message, I realized something. “You know, we’re sitting less than four feet away from each other. . . .” I remarked.”Yeah,” my husband piped in.”You could just talk to each other.” “No, no, no,” I replied, opening my purse and taking out my Palm pilot.”I meant you could just beam it to me!”
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door.
Osama and Saddam are walking through a …
Osama and Saddam are walking through a desert when they come across a fence
where a goat has his head stuck.
Saddam looks at Osama, Osama looks at Saddam and Osama smiles, drops his
pants, and starts goin to town with this goat, just tearin’ his ass up. After
Osama is done, he says, “Alright, Saddam, your turn.”
And Saddam drops his draws, grabs his ankles, and sticks his head in the
fence.
Q: How many AnTir-folk
Q: How many AnTir-folk does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Just one, but the new bulb had better be a halogen fog lamp!
Blone: Job Interview: Indiana Jones
There were three girls waiting to have a job interview. One was
a brounette, one was a red head and the other one was a blone.
The brounette was called up first. The job interview was fine
and at the end the guy asked, “How many D’s in Indiana Jones?”
And the brounette imidetly answered, “1.” same thing happened
with the red head. But when the blonde was asked she started
muttering to her self, ” 2,4,6,8,10,13…” Then she asked if she
could borrow a calculater, and after 5 minutes of full on
calculating she came up with the answer, “36.” The man asked,
“how on earth did u get that answer?” And the blonde girl
started singing the Indiana jones theme song: “Da, da, da, da,
da,…….” (and so on).
De Cock Fight
The South Carolina State Police received reports of illegal cock fights being held out in the parish near Goose Creek, and duly dispatched Detective Thibideaux to investigate. Thibideaux reported to his sergeant the next morning.
“Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin,” Thibideaux began.
“Good work Thibideaux! Who dey be?” the sergeant asked. Thibideaux replied confidently, “De Polacks, de Cajuns, and de Mafia.”
Puzzled, the sergeant asked, “How you find dat out in one night?”
“Well,” said Thibideaux, “I went down and done seed dat cock fight,I knowed de Polacks was involved whan a duck was entered in de fight.”
The sergeant nodded. “Oh yeah, l see dat, but what ’bout de others?”
Thibideaux intoned knowingly, “Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved whan sumbody bet on de duck.”
“Ah,” sighed the sergeant. “Dat be making some sense. How you deduce dat de mafia be involved?”
“De duck, he won.”
Making his rounds
An 85 year old man marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites.She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting.Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.After a few minutes there’s a knock on the door and there the old guy is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.She is certainly ready for slumber at this point and is close to sleep for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more. Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they’re laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, ‘I am really impressed that a guy your age has enough juice to go for it three times. I’ve been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one.’The old guy looks puzzled and turns to her and says, ‘Was I already here?’
contract with the de
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.” The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, “So, what’s the catch?”
The pink and white scarf
Theres this man with a one inch penis who is very ashamed of his
“family jewels”.
One day he gets asked out on a big date and decides to seek help
from a professional about his rather small willy.
“Doctor,” he said “can you please help me, I have a date tonight
and I cant go looking like this.”
The doctor handed him some medication and said , “Take this now
and whenever someone apologises to you your dick will grow an
inch bigger.”
Well the man was very excited about this and took the medication
right away. On his way home he “accidentally” bumped into a
woman who immediately exclaimed , “Oh Im sorry.”
He rushed into a nearby alleyway to check out the goods and sure
enough it was an inch bigger!
He came out of the alleyway and bumped into another stunned
pedestrian who also exclaimed , “Oh Im sorry.”
The man rushed into the nearest public loo and checked out his
penis again and it was yet another inch bigger.
The man was almost to his building when he made the mistake of
bumping into a Japanese woman who bowed her head , put her hands
together in a sort of praying motion and said , “1 thousand
apologies, 1 thousand apologies.”
Well the man rushed upstairs and his dick was SOoooooooooooooooo
long it wouldnt even tuck into his sock safely so he wrapped it
around his neck and painted it pink and white like a scarf.
Well the date went fine until the couple went to the movies .
His date was patting his scarf all night until finally the man
with the microphone said , “Could the man with the pink and
white scarf – please stop squirting milkshake on the roof!!!!!!!”
Britney Spears vs. Blow Up Doll
What do Britney Spears and a blow up doll have in common?
1. Their both plastic.
2. Their mouths are big.
3. And they’re easy to use.