Why was the belt arrested?
Because it held up a pair of pants!
Author: admin
Salad
Boss asks secretary “Do you know the difference between Ceasar Salad and a blowjob is?”
“No”, says the secretary.
“Great, Let’s do lunch.” the boss says.
Tough guy eh?
A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she’s crying. Her boyfriend asks her what happend.
“As I was leaving the bathroom, a big guy at the pool table said he wanted to kiss my breasts all night long”!
The boyfriend stood up from his stool and takes off his jacket.
“He also said he wants to screw me all night long”!! By this time the boyfriend is furious and starts walking to the pool table.
“He said he wants to drink beer from my pussy all night”!!! The boyfriend stops, turns around, sits back up on his stool and grabs his beer.
His girlfriend is stunned, and asks why he wasn’t doing anything about the jerk at the pool table.
The boyfriend says “I’m sorry Honey, – but I’m not messing around with a guy that can drink that much beer”!
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing…
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of
years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The
elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said, “your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you
can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just
sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three
times!”
Circumcise or Divorce?
Q: What’s the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!
The blonde and the rooster
Q – What is the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A – A rooster says cock-a-doodal doo and a blonde says any-cock-l doo!!
Why Eve was created
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!And the #1 reason why God created Eve…1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, “I can do better than that!”
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
So Fat
You so fat you went into 7-11 and didnt come out till 12:15.
Skinny penny
Your so skinny you look like a penny
Get ready for Work
What does Hillary Clinton do after she shaves her pussy?
Puts a suit and tie on him and sends him off to run the country.
This Russian guy loses his pet parrot. He…
This Russian guy loses his pet parrot. He looks everywhere, all
around the neighbourhood, in the park, everywhere. He can’t find the
parrot. Finally he goes around to the KGB office, and tells the desk
officer his problem.
The officer’s a little puzzled. “Look, bud, I’m sorry you lost
your bird, but this is the KGB. We don’t handle missing animal reports.”
“Oh, I know that”, says the guy. “I just wanted you to know, if
you find my parrot — I don’t know where he could have picked up all his
political ideas.”