Author: admin

A vampire bat comes flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parks himself on the ceiling of the cave.

Pretty soon all the other bats smell the blood and begin hassling him about where he got it.

He tells them to leave him alone, but they persist until he finally gives in.

“OK, OK. See that tree out there?” he asks, pointing through the mouth of the cave.

“Yes, yes, yes!”, the bats all scream in a frenzy.

“Good”‘ says the first bat. “Because I didn’t!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

once, these two thefts went to heaven. when they reached the golden gates of heaven they met saint peter. “NAMES PLEASE!” saint peter exclaimed since he saw the two guys were black. he got there names but didnt see their names in the book so he went to god and ask “God there are these two coloured guys at the gates should we let them in?” “of course st peter there is no racisum in heaven,” God replied. so peter went and returned huffing and puffing”God GGGod there gone” “who the coloured people” “NO, the golden gates”

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as ‘Millennia Year Application Software System’ (MYASS).

Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.

Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked into a subordinate’s office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of MYASS. Last week my secretary said to me, ‘I’m a little nervous, I never put anything in MYASS before.’ I helped her through the first time and afterward she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again, and was even ready to kiss MYASS.

There have been concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial installation, but the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. This database will encompass all information associated with the business.

As you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want in MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace for a supervisor to hand work to an employee and say, ‘here, stick this in MYASS.’ It will be a great day when we need data quickly and our employees can respond, ‘Here it is, I just pulled it out of MYASS.’