Author: admin

El primer d�a, el nuevo gerente de una empresa transnacional llama al comedor y ordena de mal modo:

“�Quiero inmediatamente un caf� americano, en taza, sin az�car y dos rebanadas de pan tostado con mantequilla, pero ya!”

Del otro lado se escucha:

“Est�pido, se equivoc� de extensi�n. �Sabe acaso ad�nde llam�, pendejo?”

El gerente titubeando responde:

“N-no…”

“�Al presidente de la empresa, idiota!”

Aturdido, el gerente piensa unos segundos y contesta:

“�Y t� sabes qui�n te est� hablando pedazo de idiota?”

“�No!”

“Menos mal, �imb�cil!”

Y cuelga inmediatamente.

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night. So they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job.Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”So they created a planning position and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12 and one person to do time studies, GS-11.Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”So they created a QC position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?”So they created the following two positions, a time keeper, GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11.Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Admin Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08.Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $280,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost.”So they laid off the night watchman!

Contest: Beer vs. Pussy

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you married.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
Advantage: Draw.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy – you’re dead.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much beer and you get fat.
Toom much pussy and it makes you poor.
Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five!
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran
Advantage: Draw

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

It’s a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Pussy.