Author: admin

Speeding Blonde

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One day a Blonde was pulled over for speeding. the officer approached the car and asked the BlondE for her drivers license.

The BlOnDe replied queezicaly “What’s that?”

The patrolman replied ” That’s the little card with your picture on it. Saying you know how to drive.”

The BLOnde returned a perky “Oh! I got one of those!” and digs it out of her purse.

Next the patrolman requested her registration. again he was confronted with,” What’s that?” to which he answered, “Mam, That’s the piece of paper that says you own the car.”

Again the bloNDE reported “Oh! I got one of those.” the patrolman took the documents back to his car and called them in. All was clear.

He returned the documents to the bLoNdE and unzipped his trousers and whipped out his penis, the BLONDe looked up and shrieked “NOT ANOTHER BREATHALYZER”

Una pareja de homosexuales, ya

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Una pareja de homosexuales, ya formalizados, estaban durmiendo juntos. Uno le dice al otro:

“�Ay, mi amor! Hoy amanec� con un dolor en el culo, rev�same para ver que tengo”.

“No, mejor vamos a que te revise un m�dico”.

“No, no, rev�same t�. M�teme un dedo para que me revises”, insiste aquel.

Entonces, el otro le mete el dedo y dice que no siente nada.

“Pero, revisa bien. Mete tres dedos”, insiste.

Y el otro mete los tres dedos y dice que no siente nada.

“Entonces, mete la mano”.

El otro mete la mano al tiempo que dice:

“Pues sigo sin sentir nada… Ah, espera creo que siento algo. Es un anillo”.

“�Feliz cumplea�os a ti! �Feliz cumplea�os…!”

14 Reasons To Allow Drinking At Work

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1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to
hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of
drinks.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

Jerry Falwell was seated next

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Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.
After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink
orders. The President asked for a whiskey & soda, which was brought and
placed before him.

The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The
minister replied in disgust, “Ma’am, I’d rather be savagely raped by a
brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!”

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,”I’m
sorry, I didn’t know there was a choice. I’ll have the same thing he’s
having.”