A man went to the tattoo parlor and had the…

A man went to the tattoo parlor and had the words “yes” and “no” tattooed on his penis. When he got home that night, he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants and shorts, revealing his aroused organ and its new tattoo.”What do you think, honey?” he asked his wife.Deliberately she said, “You tell me how to cook, you tell me how to clean the house, you tell me how to do the laundry… and now you’re going to put words in my mouth?”

Popes Crossword

The pope and one of his aides were traveling across the Atlantic on plane, and during the flight, the Pope tried to catch up with one of his crossword puzzles.

Midway through the flight, the Pope leans over to his aid and whispers: “what’s a 4-letter word that means ‘woman’ that ends in unt?”

His aide thinks for awhile and triumphantly says, “I have it. it’s Aunt.”

“Oh dear”, says the pope, “do you have an eraser?”

The wife

The wife says: Hang the picture thereThe wife means: No, I mean hang it there!The wife says: I heard a noiseThe wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.The wife says: Do you love me?The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com