The following is a conversation between you and a friend
You:”I can’t believe they’re still together after all that shit!”
Friend:”WHO?”
You:”My but-cheeks!”
Author: admin
You’re a redneck … the diploma hanging in
You’re a redneck if…. The diploma hanging in your den contains the words
“Trucking Institute”.
Who is driving?
Q: If there is a Mexican and a Black man in a car, who is driving?
A: A police officer
Laywer, Son & Ethics
“Suppose son, that one day a gentleman comes into my office with
a simple question. Upon answering the man’s question, I charge
him $100.00. He is outraged at the bill for such a simple
question but agrees to pay. The man reaches in his wallet and
grabs a hundred dollar bill and thrusts the money into my hand.
Upon his leaving, I notice that the man has, in fact, given me
two $100.00 bills.”
Now the ethical question, “Do I share that money with my
partner?”
When the Irish say that
When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland,
what they don’t tell you is that he was the only one who saw any
snakes!
At The Airport
McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears
streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already
homesick. “No,” replied McAteer. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that
happen?” “The cork fell out,” said the Irishman.
Quips & Quotes on Politics
Don’t vote. You’ll only encourage them.
– Unknown
***
“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad
reputation.”
– Henry A. Kissinger
***
“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency,
even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”
– Ronald Reagan
The applience store
a blonde walks into an applience store and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience store guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out dies her hair red and comes back in and asks can i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out and gets her hair died brown comes back and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy says no sorry i cant sell you that because your a blonde the blonde says how do you know i am a blonde he says because thats not a dishwasher its a microwave.
Would you define OCR?
OCR – Optical Character RecognitionA technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they’re in the right font, using the correct colors sometimes, at the right point size and pitch, dark enough on the paper, and you’re prepared to spend several centuries correcting all the 1’s that came out as l’s, all the O’s that came out as 0’s, and all the :’s that come out like ;’s.
Vision or a Sight
What’s the difference between a vision and a sight?When my wife gets dressed up for a party she looks like a vision and when she wakes up in the morning she’s a sight.
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every mo
Will Rogers
When working toward the solution
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer, provided of course you know that there is a problem.