Author: admin

Cool Bumper Stickers!

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1) God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
2) I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
3) I wasn’t born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
4) Keep honking while I reload.
5) Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!
6) Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
7) 5 days/week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park.
8) EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.
9) Your child may be an honor student but you’re still an idiot.
10) If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
11) If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
12) Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
13) My wife complains I never listen to her…or something like that.
14) Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a Native American!
15) If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
16) Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

Un oficinista le comenta a

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Un oficinista le comenta a su compa�era de trabajo que est� muy preocupado porque ha notado que va perdiendo la memoria cada vez m�s. Entonces, ella le propone:

“�Por qu� no hablas con mi marido? �l ten�a el mismo problema y gracias a un gran m�dico lo est� superando”.

El hombre va enseguida a ver al marido de su compa�era.

“�Puedes darme el nombre de ese m�dico tan bueno?”

“S�, como no. Es el doctor… Espera, lo tengo en la punta de la lengua… El doctor… S�, claro, es el que me ha curado… Se llama… Oye, �c�mo se llama la virgen negra que es la patrona de Catalu�a?”

“Montserrat”.

Y dice, entonces, llamando a su mujer:

“Montserrat, �c�mo se llama el m�dico que me ha curado la falta de memoria?”

Peanut Problem

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One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He’d toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter’s date said he could get the peanut out.The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father’s nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father.The mother said, “That’s wonderful. Isn’t he smart? What do you think he’s going to be when he grows older?!”The father replies “From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law!”

MORNING SICKNESS

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The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen
table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling
loudly in the other room.
“What’s wrong Marge?” she asked.
Marge told her that she had “morning sickness.”
Surprised the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant.”
“I’m not,” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just damn sick of mornings!”