A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
“You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many
rings, his wife picked up the phone.
“What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you doing in bed this late?”
“Getting a second opinion.”
Author: admin
L.O.F.T
Three guys are golfing with the club pro.
First guy tees off and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says, “What did I do wrong?”
The pro says, “Loft”
The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He asks the pro,”What did I do wrong?”
The pro says “Loft”.
The third guy tees off and hits a slice into a pond. He asks the pro, “What did I do wrong?”
The pro says “Loft”.
As they’re walking to their balls, the first guy finally speaks up. He says to the pro,”The three of us hit completely different tee shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong you answered the same exact answer each time. What is loft?”
The pro says, “Lack of freaking talent.”
Doctor Doctor
One day a man walked into a doctors office and said doctor you have to help me I feel terrible.
Whats the matter repied the doctor.
I broke my wifes virginity.
Yo mama so old….
Yo mama so old, she knew pizza hut when it was a tent.
3 times a virgin.
A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin.
Somebody asked her how that could be possible.
“Well,” she said. “The first time I married an octogenarian and he
died before we could consummate the marriage.”
“The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our
wedding day.”
“The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just
sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going
to be.”
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Johnny Deeper
A little boy was being bad in class and the teacher asked to see him after school. He stayed there and was sundenly puting moves on the teacher. The teacher hasnt had any in a while so they start to have sex. Whlie they were doing it the Johnnys family came in. The mom screams, “JOHNNY DEEPER!!”. The dad screams, “JOHNNY DEEPER!!!!”. The sister walks in and goes , “JOHNNY DEEPER, JOHNNY DEEPER, JOHNNY DEEPER!!!!”. He screams, “IM TRY’N, IM TRY’N!!”
Points of view
The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
Nobody Move
Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody
move!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot
him.
Top ten resolutions you won’t keep in 2000
10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.9. I will stop sending email to my roommate/spouse.8. I resolve to work with neglected children … my own.7. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.6. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.5. I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear … I’m coming. Never mind.4. No more downloads from alt.binaries.3. I resolve to back up my new 10GB hard drive daily … well, once a week … monthly, perhaps … 2. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Net.1. I won’t try to get onto the Netscape ftp site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.0. When I hear “Where do you want to go today?” I won’t reply “MS Tech Support.”-1. I will read the manual.-2. I will think of a password other than “password.”-3. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.
Yo mama is so ugly
yo mama is so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo mommas like
yo mommas like the town bicycle, every ones had a ride