What army really means…
A ren’t
R eady for
M arines
Y et
Author: admin
Blind Man
A blind man walks into a shop with his dog. He picks his dog up and starts swinging it around. The shop keeper asks what he is doing the blind man replies “just looking around!!!”
Bush believes homespun unions are a sin.
Q: Why are all marriages now illegal in the US?
A: Bush believes homespun unions are a sin.
Old college presidents never die – they just…
Old college presidents never die – they just lose their faculties.
Nice Teacher
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”
The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a ten!!!
Q: How many Australians
Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two–one to say “She’ll be right mate” and one to fetch the beers.
Auto Light
A doctor is making a routine call to one of his elderly patients. He asks, “And how are you doing today, Mr. Johnson?”
Mr. Johnson replies, “I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it’s the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pee, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door.”
The doctor is worried that the old guy is getting senile, so he phones the man’s son, and the son’s wife answers.
The doctor tells her, “Mrs. Johnson, I’m a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on…”
Mrs. Johnson yells, “Steven! Daddy’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
whats the difference
whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?the brick doesn’t follow you around 3 days after you lay it
Una pareja de mediana edad
Una pareja de mediana edad ten�a mucho tiempo sin cohabitar y la se�ora ya estaba urgida, por lo que se le ocurri� un plan para ponerle remedio a la situaci�n: esperar�a al marido cuando �ste regresara de trabajar, totalmente desnuda. Estaba segura que eso lo animar�a. Cuando el marido lleg� y la vio bajar las escaleras desnuda, desconcertado pregunta:
“Mujer, �qu� haces encuerada?”
“Estoy con mi disfraz de Eva para ti”.
“�Pues por lo menos le hubieras dado una planchadita!”
Death to the blonde
how do you drown a blond??
put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.159. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
Bill Gate’s Wedding Night
What did Bill Gates’ wife say to him on their wedding night? “Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!”