Author: admin

1. So many men, so few who – can afford me.
2. God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends.
3. If they don’t have chocolate in heaven, I ain’t going.
4. My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
5. Princess, having had sufficient experience with
princes, seeks frog.
6. Coffee, chocolate, men … Some things are just better rich.
7. Don’t treat me any differently than you would the queen
8. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
9. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
10. I’m out of estrogen – and i have a gun.
11. Guys have feelings too. But like…who cares?
12. Next mood swing: 6 minutes
13. And your point is?
14. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
15. Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time.
16. Do not start with me. You will not win.
17. You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.
18. All stressed out and no one to choke.
19. I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.
20. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
21. Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.
22. If we are what we eat, I_m fast, cheap and easy.
23. Don’t upset me! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

A man went out drinking with his friends and came home the next morning to find his wife waiting for him. He apologized for worrying her but proceeded to tell her that he had been in the most elegant bar in the world! “Everything was gold.. the carpets, the glasses, the cutlery, the curtains and even the urinal. Here… I have a book of matches in my pocket. Phone if you don’t believe me.”The incredulous wife did just that and asked the manager, “Is everything in your establishment really gold?””Yes,” he replied, “everything is gold colored.””Even the urinal?” she queried.The manager put his hand over the phone and said to his bartender, “This is the wife of that guy who relieved himself in the tuba last night.”

When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.A Christmas tree doesn’t get jealous around other Christmas trees.A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you watch football all day.A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.