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Santa Singh

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There was this case in the hospital’s Intensive Care ward where patients
always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their
medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do
with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the
ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning
few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the
ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were
holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the
evil…….. Just when the clock struck 11….

Scroll down for what happened…

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the
life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Un viudo millonario llega a

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Un viudo millonario llega a un restaurante y observa a una linda chica sentada sola en una mesa. El hombre le manda una botella de vino con el mesonero y un mensaje, escrito en una servilleta, proponi�ndole que la bebieran juntos.

En otra servilleta, la mujer le responde que, si �l tiene en su casa dos Mercedes Benz, dos millones de d�lares en el banco y por lo menos 23 cm de pene, ella acepta encantada.

Con otra servilleta, el viudo le responde que �l tiene cuatro Mercedes Benz en su casa, cuatro millones de d�lares en el banco, pero que ser�a incapaz de quitarse dos cm de su pene tan s�lo para beberse la botella con ella…

…Y le quit� la botella.

Two Nuns on the Run

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Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM).The other one is known as Sister Logical (SL).It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past Half-hour? SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants. SL: It’s logical. He wants to have his way us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster. SM: It is not working. SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split up. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow both of us. They did split up. The man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrived at the convent and was worried because Sister Logical has not yet arrived. Finally, Sister Logical entered.SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell us what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he followed one of us. Me. SM: So, what happened? Please tell us. SL: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as could. SM: So what happened? SL: The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run, as fast as he could. SM: And what else? SL: The only logical thing to happen. He reached me. SM: Oh, no! What did you do then? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister. What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

Flogging Dead Horses

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A guy goes to the Farmer to buy a horse. He give the farmer the money and says that he will be around later to pick up the horse.

When he returns he is shock to find that the horse is dead!

He goes to the farmer and asks what happen to horse and can he get is money back.

The farmer replies no because he has spent the money and that he has no more horses to give.

The guy is unhappy but says o.k. and takes the dead horse anyway.

The farmer is shocked but doesn’t say anything.

A couple of weeks later the guy returns to the farmer to buy a couple more dead horses, so the farmer asked him what in the world would you want to do with a dead horse??

The guy replies that he had an auction to sell the dead horse, and
charged 10 pounds entrance and had over two hundred people there.

The farmer is shocked and said didn’t anyone get angry when they found out that the horse was dead.

The guy replies only the person that won.

The farmer says what happened next, and the guy says nothing i gave him back his 10 pounds.

Don’t be on this flight

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“This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I’d like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.”If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.”If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.”If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.”That’s me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!”

More Man Slamming!

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You know a man’s lying if his lips are moving.
Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
So many men – so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
Tell him you’re not his type – you have a pulse.
Never let your man’s mind wander – its too little to be let out alone.
Never sleep with a man who’s named his willy.
Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway
A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.
Men are all the same – they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
Women don’t make fools of men – most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
If you wanted a committed man look in a mental hospital.
If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him cheque books.
Boring men are like snot – they get up your nose.
Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.
If he asks you if your faking it tell him no, your just practicing.
Sadly, all men are created equal.
There are a lot of words that you can use to describe men – strong,
caring,loving – they’d be wrong – but you could still use them.