Author: admin

A little dwarf lady goes into her doctor’s office complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination, the doctor sighs, “I don’t seem to see any problem. Does it get better or worse at any time?” “Yeah, it’s really bad whenever it rains,” she replies.”Well, then,” says the Doc, “Next time it rains, get in here at once, and we’ll take another look at it.”Two weeks later, it’s raining really hard, and the little lady shows up at the doctor’s office.”Doctor, it’s really bad today. Please, you have to help me!!” “Well, let’s have a look,” he says, as he lifts her up onto the table.”Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse, bring me a surgical kit. Don’t worry ma’am, this won’t hurt a bit.”The dwarf lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation. The doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few minutes later.”There you go, ma’am, try that.” She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims, “That’s great, Doc, what did you do?” “I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain boots.”

One day God was cleaning out his kitchen, when he stumbled on three spare
Commandments. He had no use for them, being the conservational type,
decided to find someone who would have a use for them.

God floated down to Egypt, and he said to the Pharoah, “Hello, Pharoah! I
was wondering if you needed three spare Commandments that I found lying
around my house. I have no need for them.” “Thanks but no thanks,” said
the Pharoah, “we’ve got no need for any Commandments. We’re too busy
building pyramids.”

Frustrated, God floated over to Rome, and he said to the Consul, “Hello,
Consul! I was wondering if you needed three spare Commandments that I
found lying around my house. I have no need for them.” “No thanks,” said
the Consul, “we’ve got no need for any Commandments. We’re too busy having
orgies.”

On the verge of despair, God floated over to Mt. Sinai to rest. When he
got there, he saw Moses. God decided to ask him. God said, “Hello, Moses!
I was wondering if you needed three spare Commandments that I found lying
around my house. I have no need for them.” “Uh, how much do they cost?”
asked Moses. “They’re for free!” said God.

Moses said, “In that case, I’ll take ten!”

On having business trip to the Orient, Joe decided to spend his last night having wild sex with a Chinese prostitute in Hong Kong.

Upon returning home three weeks later, he noticed a very weird, green, festering sore growing on his penis.

He went to his doctor, �Doctor Jones�, who, after hearing of his Orient trip and extracurricular activities, told him he had Hong Kong Dong and the only cure was complete amputation.

Joe was horrified, and decided to get a second opinion.

Joe contacted Doctor Smith and showed him the green growth.

Doctor Smith said, ‘I am sorry but Doctor Jones is correct. We must amputate right away.’

Joe could not accept this. His friend suggested that he visit an oriental doctor.
They must deal with this all the time.

He went to Doctor Chu Wong.

Doctor Wong agreed with the diagnosis of Hong Kong Dong, but said, ‘These Western doctors – so quick to Chop, Chop, Chop. Amputation not necessary’

Joe was relieved. Doctor Wong said, ‘You wait three weeks and it fall off on its own.’

Una se�ora sale al patio de su casa, de repente, ve un gorila subido en uno de los �rboles. Enseguida llama al zool�gico:

“En el patio de mi casa hay un gorila”, informa la dama al encargado del zoo.

“Ese debe ser el que escap� ayer, denos su direcci�n para buscarlo”.

La se�ora le da los datos y a la media hora se aparece un hombre con una red, un perro y un rifle.

“�Y c�mo es que lo agarran?”, quiere saber la mujer.

“Es un m�todo moderno: yo me subo al �rbol donde est� el gorila y hago que se caiga al suelo; entonces, este perro est� estrenado para morderle los test�culos y cuando est� paralizado, le tiro la red encima y listo”.

El hombre se dirige al �rbol y cuando se apresta a subir le da el rifle a la se�ora.

“�Y qu� hago con este rifle?”, pregunta la due�a asustada.

“�Es que si el que cae soy yo, mate al perro!”