Author: admin

A college student is home for the summer from college, and is looking for a
job. he goes to k-mart, and fills out an application. a few days later, the
manager calls him and asks him to come in for an interview, which the student
does. when the student arrives, the manager sits him down and says “well son do
you think you have what it takes to work at ‘the big k’? the student thinks to
himself, “is this guy f****** nuts?”, but nods his head and says yes. the
manager says ok, and tells the student he must get a lesson first on how to deal
with customers. they go to a cash register, and the manager tells the student to
watch him and learn what to do. the student agrees and after a few minutes a
customer comes to the counter, and throws down a bag of grass seeds. the manager
looks at the bag, and says �say would you like a lawnmower to cut that grass
when it grows?” the customer thinks for a second and says ” yeah, why the hell
not.” the manager looks at the student and says “son, do u think u can do that?”
the student again thinks to himself �is this guy f****** nuts?”, but nods says
and says he does. a few minutes later, another customer comes to the register to
get checked out, and the manager tells the student to try it. the student
agrees, while the customer throws a pack of tampons up on the counter. the
student looks that the tampons and says �sir, would u happen to be interested in
buying one of our grass cutters, they are on sale in aisle 8?” the customer
looks at the student and says “why the hell would i want to buy a grass cutter?”
the student looks at him and says �well i just figured since u wouldn’t be
getting any pussy this weekend, that u might wanna cut your grass instead!”

Se celebran las Olimpiadas Especiales. En la prueba de nataci�n sale el primer competidor, sin brazos. Se lanza a la piscina y al cabo de 3 minutos la cruza. La gente aplaude el m�rito.

Aparece el segundo competidor, sin brazos ni piernas. Se lanza a la piscina y 5 minutos despu�s cruza la piscina. La gente, emocionada por el esfuerzo del deportista, se levanta y aplaude sin cesar.

Entonces, aparece el tercer competidor, sin brazos, sin piernas y sin tronco; s�lo la cabeza. Lo colocan en el lugar de lanzamiento, le ponen el gorro y se tira a la piscina.

Quince minutos despu�s, no sal�a nadie de la piscina, ni se ve�a ning�n movimiento. Entonces, los de rescate se tiraron y lo sacaron, casi a punto de ahogarse.

“�Qu� pas�?”, le preguntan intrigados.

“�No joda, 5 a�os entrenando para nadar con las orejas! �Qui�n fue el hijueputa que me puso el gorro?”

Mirrors don’t talk, but lucky for you, they don’t laugh either.

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.

Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.

Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.

The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friend’s act of generosity.

“What on earth did you do that for?” shouts Frank.
“You know he’s only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!”

Matt replies, “What…and we weren’t?”