Author: admin

Years ago while lying in my hammock and drinking JD from the bottle I noticed my cat dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbors’ 10 year old daughter’s rabbit. For years I had watch her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the yard. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our cat, Cricket, I had to think fast.

The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the Dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing its grooming I jumped the fence and replaced back in its cage hoping its death would be written off as “natural causes”.

Back to the hammock and JD.

Within the hour the neighbour’s Volvo pulled in as usual and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed “DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Her father, panic sticken, stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbour that I am I rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do.

Her father less than calmly blurted, “What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl’s rabbit and put it back in it’s cage?!”

Mike and Bill, are hanging out in the lone bar in a one-horse town in northern Idaho, when a local rancher walks in carrying a wolf pelt.”Good work!” says the bartender. He pops the cash register open, pulls out a wad of bills, and counts them out into the rancher’s outstretched hand.After the rancher leaves, Mike asks the bartender, “What was that all about?”The barkeep says, “Haven’t you boys heard? We got us a real wolf problem in these parts, and the county ain’t done a thing about it. Why, just last week, a pack of the damn varmints come onta my property and laid waste t’my chicken coop. Ol’ Man Miller down the road even lost four of his cattle to the bloodthirsty beasts! They’re vicious, and they got no fear — and they gotta be stopped. So I’m offerin’ a bounty — a hundred dollars to anybody who brings in a wolf pelt.”Mike and Bill look at each other, and immediately race out of the bar to go hunt wolves.After wandering around the hills for several hours, they finally spot a lone wolf in the distance. Mike takes aim with his rifle and shoots the wolf dead. The two fellas sprint over to where the carcass lay, and Mike gets busy with the pelt.Suddenly, Bill says, “Hey, Mike, look.” “Not now,” says Mike, “I’m busy.”Bill tugs on Mike’s sleeve and says, “Mike, I think you *really* ought to see this.” “Not now!” Mike says again.”Can’t you see I’ve got a hundred dollars in my hands?”Bill’s voice starts to waver.”Mike, please, just look!” Mike stops what he’s doing and looks up: The two men are surrounded by a pack of wolves — at least fifty in all, every one of them growling, drooling, gnashing their teeth, and licking their chops. Mike takes in the sight and gasps: “Oh, my God… …. … … We’re gonna be rich!”