Author: admin

True Story

Posted on by admin

This is a true story that happened to me a few days ago.

I was at McDonald’s and I ordered a large fry. The cashier said,
“I’m sorry, we are out of apple pies.” I was about to explain
her error when the lady in line behind me said, “You’re out of
apple pies? I can’t believe it! This is sick! This is sick!”

The poor cashier said, “I’m sorry. We asked for more from the
headquarters, but they haven’t come yet.” The lady shouted, “I
have stock in this company, and this is why it is FAILING! I
demand to see your manager, because you are obviously an idiot!”
The cashier, on the verge of tears, said, “Please don’t call me
an idiot. I don’t deserve to have you yelling at me.”

The manager came forward from the back of the store. “What is
the problem here?” The lady screeched, “This idiot has given me
horrible service, and I am never coming here again.” She stormed
out. The cashier followed her out, calling, “I’m sorry, I’m
sorry.” The lady yelled back, “You’re a f***ing bitch!” The
manager came out and said, “You are no longer welcome on this
property!”

Finally, the lady left the parking lot and stood staring
loathingly at the store from the sidewilk. The cashier came
back, apologized, and got me my fries. It turned out that it was
one of those ones with Monopoly game pieces. Mine turned out to
be an instant winner. Guess what it was? An apple pie.

Drinking At Work

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Reasons for Allowing Drinking at Work
1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

Shot To The Heart

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Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.

She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl’s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.

“On a woman,” the doctor said, “your heart would be just below your left breast.”

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.