Q: Why doesn’t the President have a cat?
A: Because he believes it’s wrong for bush and pussy to mix.
Author: admin
corruption
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.”Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question.”Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
Q: How many Brown
Q: How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: One–and that’s what his degree will be in! Note: Because Brown has no real core curriculum.
Top Ten Jobs
Top Ten Jobs wanted by small children:
1. Fire Truck-the Red kind
2. President
3. Astronaut
4. Vet
5. Explorer(the really famous kind)
6. Boss of the Universe
7. Whatever their Mommy does
8. Whatever their Daddy does
9. Toy tester
10. Anything on TV
Tope Ten Jobs wanted by teenage boys:
1. Playboy Photographer
2. Pamela Anderson’s Boytoy
3. Pro Fotball player
4. Pro Basketball Player
5. Pro Baseball Player(I sense a trend)
6. Pro Hockey Player
7. Rock Star
8. Boss of the Universe-that one doesn’t change
9. Anything but what their Dad does
10. Lottery Winner
Top Ten Jobs wanted by Adults:
1. Any
2. yes, any
3. job
4. but
5. the
6. one
7. that
8. they
9. have
10. now!
Bengals
Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W’s in a row.
El diablo hab�a bebido demasiado
El diablo hab�a bebido demasiado y cuando sale de la cantina se tira un tropez�n y cae de cuatro patas; en eso ven�a un borrachito y al verlo que le mostraba el culo empieza a pensar: “este es mi d�a de suerte”. Entonces el borrachito empieza a tener relaciones sexuales con el diablo.
El diablo empieza a reaccionar y dice: “Pero que pasa, este no sabe quien soy yo pero ahora va ver quien soy, lo voy a matar de un susto hasta que se le pare el coraz�n.”
El diablo se empieza a poner rojo sangre y el borracho ni caso que le hace. El diablo dice: “Pero no puede ser, si yo soy el diablo, pero ahora si lo mato de un susto, de esta no se me escapa”.
Entonces le empiezan a crecer los pelos de unos 50 cm por todo el cuerpo y el borrachito sigue sin hacer caso a nada, y el diablo dice: “Ahora si que lo mato a este de un susto y le empieza a salir la cola, y el borrachito sigue, la cola la pone para un lado y sigue adelante, entonces el diablo dice: “Esta es mi �ltima opci�n y con esto le voy a demostrar quien es el diablo.”
Le empiezan a salir los cuernos, en eso el borracho abre los ojos y ve los cuernos, se detiene un momento y en tono de asombro exclama, mientras agarra los cuernos:
“�Aaaayyyy, si hasta tiene de donde agarrarse!”
An Indian goes into a
An Indian goes into a convience store and says “Me needum to buy toilet
paper”
The clerk says, “Well we have some over here” and points to the right.
The Indian says “Me not have much money.”
The clerk replies “Well we have some no-name brands over here.” and points
to the left.
The Indian says “Whata ya mean no-name?”
The clerk says “They’re Generic type brands.”
The Indian takes them. The next day the Indian goes back to the store and
says “You know that no-name stuff? My family give it
name. We call it ‘John Wayne'”
The clerk asks “Why do you call it ‘John Wayne?'”
The Indian says “It’s rough, it’s tough, and it don’t take no shit off an
Indian.”
A man forgot to buy turkey for Thanksgiving
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.”Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.””Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.”That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man.The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.”Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”
Love, true love…
What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
Fully Loaded
A certain young man finally won a date with the blonde female of somewhat questionable morals that lived in his apartment complex.To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his “tool of the trade”. But the young man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his Johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”
A Walking Economy
This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, “I’m a walking economy.”
The friend replies “How so?”
“My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!”
Peanuts in a bar
2 Peanuts walk into a bar……one was a salted(assaulted)