Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!
Author: admin
The Trainee…
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone – “Get me a coffee, quickly!”
The voice from the other side responded, “You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?”
“No,” replied the trainee.
“It’s the CEO of the company, you fool!”
The trainee shouts back, “And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!”
“No.” replied the CEO indignantly.
“Good!” replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.
Redneck dictionary
Handsome Handsome of that ketchup over here.
keeping an idiot busy
this is how you keep an idiot busy……..
peat and repeat where on a boat peat fell off who was left?
answer? (repeat)
peat and repeat where on a boat peat fell off who was left?
answer? (repeat)
peat and repeat where on a boat peat fell off who was left?
(your answer will always be repeat and you will always tell a person to “repeat”)
Q: What’s so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?…
Q: What’s so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she’ll swallow.
What’s gross?…
What’s gross?
Giving someone a titty twister.
What’s grosser than that?
Keeping a nipple.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Maria!Maria who?Maria me,
Knock KnockWho’s there?Maria!Maria who?Maria me, I love you!
Q: How many neural
Q: How many neural nets does it take to change a light bulb ?A: f'(x) = delta Sum log (HOUSE) / d(HOUSE)
“My Balls. . . . .”
a guy walks through a town and sees that there is a contest. . the reward is $5000.00
. . you have to make a horse laugh. . . there are a bunch of people around trying to tell jokes, funny stories and they even tried to tickle the horse but he just wouldn’t laugh. . the the guy takes the hore behind the bush and he comes out crakin up . . .he gets his reward. . . the next day the guy is leaving town and sees that there is another contest for $10000.00 you have to make the horse cry . . there are people sitting around teling stories about there familes and bad things that happened to them . . .but the horse just wouldn’t cry. . .so the guy takes the hotse behind the bush an he comes out crying . . so hte guy gets his reward and getting ready to leave. . .the people in the town saywait . . .wait. . before you leave tell us how u did it. . how did u make him laugh? He said i told him that my balls were bigger than his . . they said oka yhow did u make him laugh he said i showed him!!!!
The skunk
Whats black and white but red allover?
A skunk going 90 miles an hour in a blender.
Un tipo mayor se hace
Un tipo mayor se hace miembro de un campo de nudistas muy exclusivo por simple curiosidad, en busca de nuevas emociones. Como era su primer d�a, se quit� la ropa como todo el mundo y fue a dar vueltas por el predio. Una linda rubia apareci� por ah� y �l inmediatamente tuvo una erecci�n. La chica not� su erecci�n e inmediatamente se le acerc� sensual:
“�Me ha llamado, se�or?”
“�Yo? No, �por qu�?”
“Usted debe ser nuevo; le voy a explicar. Aqu� tenemos una regla: si le provoco una erecci�n, quiere decir que usted me ha llamado, que usted me desea”.
Sonriente, la chica lo lleva a un jard�n y se acuesta en una toalla; tira fuertemente hacia ella de la mano del hombre y se deja poseer de todas las formas posibles. El fulano, loco de contento, sigue explorando las delicias de aquel campo. Entra al sauna, se sienta e involuntariamente se le escapa un pedo. Sonriente, de inmediato se le acerca un tipo enorme, peludo y con una erecci�n del tama�o de un bate de b�isbol:
“�Me ha llamado, se�or?”
“��Yo?! No, �por qu�?”
“Usted debe ser nuevo aqu�. Le voy a explicar: tenemos una regla que dice que si te tiras un pedo, significa que me ha llamado, que usted me desea. Dicho esto, el gigant�n voltea a nuestro personaje sobre el piso y lo posee de una manera bestial. Luego se marcha. El novicio con mucha dificultad se dirige como puede a la oficina del club. Una recepcionista desnuda lo saluda muy sonriente:
“�Puedo ayudarlo, se�or?”
“Le devuelvo su llave y su tarjeta. Puede quedarse con los 500 d�lares de cuota inicial”.
“�Pero, se�or, usted tan s�lo ha estado aqu� un par de horas y solamente ha visto un par de nuestras facilidades””
“Esc�chame una cosa, nena, yo soy un hombre de 58 a�os. A duras penas tengo una erecci�n al mes, pero me tiro como 15 pedos al d�a… �No me conviene, gracias!”
YOU’VE GOT MAIL.
Bush (Senior) was in his front yard mowing his grass when little W.came out of
the house and rushed straight to the mailbox. Little W opened it, looked in,
then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
As Bush (senior) was getting ready to edge the lawn, looking his son, little
W. came back out to the mailbox, opened it, felt all the way to the back, and
then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by his son actions George (senior) asked him, “Is something wrong
son?”
To which he replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps
saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”