Author: admin

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs
down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down
that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This
goes on for at least an hour and a half.

Finally the bartender, bursting with curiosity, says, “I know it’s none of my
business buddy, but I have to ask. Why the whole “drink, look in pocket, cringe
and order another one” routine?”

“Well,” slurred the man, “There’s a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she
starts to look good, then it’s time for me to go home.”

Sam wakes up at home with a huge hangover. Forcing him to open his eyes, the
first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side
table. He sits down and notices his clothes in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, all
spotless and clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and
notices a note on the table, “Sweetheart, your breakfast is on the stove. I had
to leave early to go shopping. Love you.”

So, he goes to the kitchen and, sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is sitting at the table, eating.

“What happened last night, son?” Sam asks.

His son replies, “Well, you came home after 3:00 AM, very drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when
you stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Sam asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

“Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your
pants off, you said, ‘Lady, leave me alone. I’m married’,” his son replies.