What do you call a virgin in Alabama?
Faster than her father and stronger than her brother.
Author: admin
Data transfer
What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde�s ear?
Data transfer.
8 years of economic prosperity.
Q: What’s the major thing that separates Bush sr. from Bush jr.?
A: 8 years of economic prosperity.
Hey
there is three midgets that wanted to brake the record for thesmallest body parts so the first guy goes in and says can i brake the record for the smallest hands he gets it and the second guy goes in and says can i brake the record for the smallest feet he gets it. The third guy goes in and says can i brakethe record for the smallest dick he doesnt get it so he walks out of the office and says who the hell is (say the person that you are tellin it too.
Redneck quickies 20
You might be a redneck if…
It’s easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You’ve ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister’s honor.
Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job–primer red and primer gray.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren’t just men.
Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire…on her house
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Space photography
The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding.Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
Dos macarruzos est�n sentados en
Dos macarruzos est�n sentados en un banco del parque. Para matar el aburrimiento le dice uno al otro:
“Oye, tron, �sabes que est�s sentado al lado del menda m�s pasota y macarra del barrio?
“�Haaaala, pero qu� dices! Toda la basca sabe que el m�s chulo y pasota soy yo”.
“�Qu� soy yo!”
“�No, qu� soy yo!”
Y se tiran un rato as� discutiendo, hasta que pasa un matrimonio de avanzada edad por delante de ellos. Uno de los dos se levanta y asegura retador:
“Ahora vas a ver qui�n es el m�s pasota y macarra”.
Dicho esto, se dirige al matrimonio que iban cogidos de la mano y les mete una paliza de esc�ndalo. Sodomiza al hombre y viola repetidas veces a la mujer. Sacudi�ndose las manos vuelve donde estaba su colega:
“�Soy o no soy el m�s pasota del barrio?
“��Pasota?! Pasota yo, que estaba tan tranquilo aqu� sentado mientras te follabas a MIS VIEJOS”.
Why is it that night
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Hole in One
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, “Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing.” God nodded in agreement.
The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away (as they say in basketball, nothing but net). A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, “Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him.”
God smiled. “Think about it — who can he tell?”
Hard and pink
What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
Bubblegum “what were you thinking?”
Shoe Store
Once there were two Chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were
neighbors but happened to be very competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a
shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must
compete with Mr. Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr. Ho’s
store and he named it SHOE DO WE.
Cures what ails ya
The other day I was sitting in the doctor’s office when a nun came running out of the exam room screaming and yelling. She was so upset, she didn’t even pay her bill, just slammed the door and left.
About a minute later the doctor came out and the nurse asked him, “Doctor, what on earth happened in there?”
The doctor replied, “Well, I examined her. Then I told her she was pregnant.”
“Pregnant? A nun? That’s impossible!”, said the nurse.
“I know it. But it sure cured her hiccups.”