Author: admin

The Prince and The Rose

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Once upon a time there lived a prince and a princess that showed
their love for each other all the time. There was also this
wizard that hated seeing people in love, especially the prince
and princess. One day he decided to put an end to it. The wizard
turned the princess into a rose in the garden. But she was only
a rose during the day and at night she turned back into a woman.
So finally the wizard was happy.

After awhile the wizard noticed that the prince was letting his
love (the princess) in the castle at night when she turned back
into a human. The wizard was furious. So the next day he picked
two roses plus the one rose the princess was turned into. He set
them on a table and told the prince, “If you can pick the rose
that is your love then she will forever be a human. If you pick
wrong she will forever be a rose in the garden”. The prince
thought for awhile and picked the one all the way on the left.
He was right and the princess turned back into a human and lived
happily ever after with her prince.

Phew…now the question to this riddle: How did the prince now
the left rose was his love?

The answer: He knew which one was her cause he remembered at
night time he let her in the castle so she wouldn’t have dew on
her like the other two roses that were out in the garden all
night.

Why do people go to

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Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke? Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? Why is the alphabet in that order? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Eating dogs

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Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. “Two dogs, please,” she says.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.”

One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, “What part did you get?”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

New Year’s Resolutions

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New Year’s Resolutions for Internet Junkies…

I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily…well, once a week… okay, monthly then…or maybe…
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.
When I hear “Where do you want to go today?” I will not reply “MS Tech Support.”
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL… LOL!”
I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than “password.”
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning… 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er…
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

Second hand joke

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A blonde walks into a second hand shop and looks at the clerk and says how much do you want for that television up there, in reply the clerk says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
The blonde leaves the store and goes to the local hair stylist and dyes her hair red and returns to the shop and asks how much they want for the television, again in reply the clerk says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
Angry the blonde leaves the store and this time colors her hair brunette and returns to the store asking how much they want for the television and the clerk again says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
The blonde then says how did you know it was me all along and in reply the clerk says,
“Thats a microwave not a television”

Whats a period

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The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.Eventually little Johnny’s turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, waited a short time and make a second small white dot next to the first.Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.’It’s a period,’ reported Johnny.’Yes, I can understand that,’ she said, ‘but what is so exciting about a period?”Damned if I know,’ said Johnny, ‘but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.’