Author: admin

* It’s fireproof.
* He’s probably just hibernating.
* What does this button do?
* I’m making a citizen’s arrest.
* So, you’re a cannibal.
* It’s probably just a rash.
* Are you sure the power is off?
* Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
* The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
* Pull the pin and count to what?
* Which wire was I supposed to cut?
* I wonder where the mother bear is.
* I’ve seen this done on TV.
* These are the good kind of mushrooms.
* I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.
* Let it down slowly.
* Rat poison only kills rats.
* Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.
* It’s strong enough for both of us.
* This doesn’t taste right.
* I can make this light before it changes.
* Nice doggie.
* I can do that with my eyes closed.
* I’ve done this before.
* Well, we’ve made it this far.
* That’s odd.
* You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
* Don’t be so superstitious.
* Now watch this.
* What duck?

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says,”Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.””Because,” the man says, “I live in a two-story house.”The Judge replies,”What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?”The man answers,”Well Judge, one story is ‘I have a headache’ and the other story is ‘It’s that time of the month.'”

Una pareja de esposos dicut�a, y el marido dice:

“Es que tu mam� tiene la culpa de todo.”

La esposa responde: “S�, ya s� que t� no quieres a mi mam�.”

“Qui�n dice que no quiero a tu madre, si a tu madre la quiero igual que a la cerveza…”

La esposa, conocedora de la pasi�n de su conyuge por la cerveza, le dice con tono de interrogaci�n: “�T� quieres a mi mam� igual que a la cerveza?”

“Si, quiero a tu madre como a la cerveza, porque la quiero fr�a, con la boca abierta y echando espuma…”

Doris & Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their 2 up 2 down terrace house.

After a few days a young attractive woman applies for the room and explains that she is a model working in a nearby city centre studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room for Mondays to Thursdays but would pay for the whole week.

Doris shows her the house and they agree to start straight away. “There’s just one problem” explains the model ” because of my job I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don’t have a bath?”

“That’s not a problem” replies Doris “we have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it in to the living room, in front of the fire, and fill it with hot water.”

“What about your husband?” asks the model.

“Oh he plays darts most weekdays – so he will be out in the evenings.” replies Doris.

“Good” says the model ” that being settled, I’ll go to the studio and see you tonight.”

That evening Fred dutifully goes to his darts match whilst Doris prepares the bath for the model. After stripping off the model steps into the bath and Doris is amazed to see that she has no pubic hair. The model notices Doris’s staring eyes, smiles and explains that it is part of her job to shave her pussy especially when modelling swim wear or underclothes.

Later when Fred returns, Doris relates this oddity and he does not believe her.

“It’s true I tell you” says Doris “look, if you don’t believe me, tomorrow night I’ll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself.”

The next night Fred leaves as usual and Doris prepares the bath for the model. As the model steps naked into the bath – Doris,standing behind her, looks towards the curtains, and points towards the model’s naked pussy. Then she lifts up her skirt and wearing no panties, points to her own hairy mass.

Later Fed returns and they retire to bed.

“Well do you believe me now?” she asks Fred. “Yes” he replies “I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show your hairy twat?”

“Just to show you the difference” answers Doris “but anyway you’ve seen my pussy millions of times?”

“Yes” says Fred “I have…but the rest of the darts team haven’t.”

Vuelve Manuel del trabajo y Lola lo recibe:

“�Como te fue?”

“Bien bien, los muchachos estaban comentando una forma nueva de hacer el amor.”

“Ah s� �y como es?”

“Es un asco, ni se cuenta.”

“Dale dale cont�…”

“Bueno, dicen que el hombre le besa la vagina a la mujer y la mujer le chupa el pito, es un asco.”

“No, No, yo quiero probar” dice Lola.

“No y no.”

“Bueno, si no probamos… no comemos.”

“Si es as� probaremos.”

Y as� estaban Manuel y Lola en esa posici�n, cuando Lola dice:

“�Te has enterao Manuel de que India y Pakistan pueden entrar en guerra?”

“Mujer… no es momento de hablar de eso.”

“Bueno, como este papel que tienes pegao en el culo dice que all� se armar� la gorda… me asust�.”

The young couple were holding hands in the Sunshine Gardens nudist camp.

“When I tell you I love you,” he asked, “why do you always lower your eyes?”

“To see if it’s true,” she answered shyly.