Ya mamma is like traintracks….
She gets laid around the country!
Author: admin
Teeth jokes
yo momma teeth is so spreaded apart she tried to bite a cheese burger and missed.
Yo Mama
Yo mama so poor, she has to break into someone’s house to get what she needs.
Bill’s Death
Did You her Bill Cliton tried to kill himself?
Yea he try to O.D. on Viagra and beat himself to death!
First Day at School
It was the first day of 3rd grade, and a new school for Johnny. As a test, the teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50.
Some did very well, counting as high as 30 and 40 with just a few mistakes.
Others couldn’t get past 20.
Johnny, however, did extremely well. He counted past 50, right up to 83. He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well he had done. His Dad nodded and told him, “That’s because you are from Arkansas, son.”
The next day, in language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. Most made it about half way through without much trouble. Some made it to M and N, but Johnny rattled off the alphabet right to W.
That evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, “Son, that’s because you are from Arkansas.”
The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly well endowed. This confused him. That night he told his dad, “Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I’m from Arkansas?” he asked.
“No, son,” explained his Dad, “That’s because you’re 18.”
Bingo
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Shame & Glory
A woman walks into a bar and orders two shots. She downs the first one, “This is for the shame,” and then the second one,” This is for the glory.”
She then orders two more shots. She drinks the first one, “This is for the shame,” and then the second one, “This is for the glory.”
She is about to order two more shots when the bartender stops her, “Ma’am, I was just wondering…what’s this about shame and glory?”
“Well,” she replies, “I like to do my housework naked. But when I bent over to pick something up, my great dane mounted me from behind.”
“That must be the shame,” the bartender said.
“No, that was the glory. The shame is when we got locked up and he dragged me around the front yard for thirty minutes.”
Why Do Brides Wear W
Why do brides wear white? The dishwasher should match the stove and refrigerator.
Question and answer Christmas joke
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? A: Because he had low elf esteem.
3 guys!
three guys are out in a bar and one of them have green hair and one has red and the other has blond!A blond chick comes up and says hey babys how did you get your hair that way? the blond hair guy i dyed it! the red hair guy i dyed it! the green hair guy said i dont know putting his hand on his nose then his hair (thats how it happened to him his booges)so the blond gal goes out with him because he did something different then the other two guys!!!!! lol
First Time
The night was dark, the moon was low
I looked at her eyes which seemed to glow,
She licked my face, so nice and slow,
I touched her body and held her tight,
Oh what a lovely perfect night!
I put my hands on her warm breasts,
She lay there without any protest,
With her legs stretched wide, I bent down,
it was over quick,she didn’t even make a sound
soon the flowing white stuff came out,
I knew that I did it some how,
it was my first time milking a COW!
The Three Fleas
One night, a man and woman were getting ready to have sex. At
the same time, there were three fleas in the room looking for
somewhere to hide. One crawled between the mattress, one crawled
up the woman’s ass, and the third crawled into her pussy.
The man jumped on the bed and the couple began to have sex.
During intercourse, the woman silently left a fart. When they
were finished, the man came inside her and they went to sleep.
The next morning, the three fleas got together. The one that
slept between the mattress said, “I was sleeping fine until a
big rock landed on me.”
The flea that slept up the woman’s ass said “Yeah? I was
sleeping fine until a big gust of wind blew me out on the sheet.”
The third flea, looking really pissed off, said, “I was sleeping
fine ’till some bald headed sonofabitch came along and SPIT on
me!”