I would give $1000 to be a millionaire.
Author: admin
Yo mama
Yo mama went to Weight Watchers and the only thing she lost was $19.95…
Do You Like Lions?
During a lesson at school, we were learning about various animals from around the world. Everything from Alligators to Zebras.One of the animals I we covered was the mountain lion, and i was interested in learning more.The teacher asked me “Do you like mountain lions?”I replied cheekily “I don’t know, i’ve never mounted any.”
Russian, Cuban, American and a Lawyer
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train.
The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into
a glass, drinks it, and says: “In USSR, we have the best vodka in the world,
nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in
Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away…” Saying
that, he opened the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the
others were quite impressed.
The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to
smoke it saying: “In Cuba, we have the best cigars in the world, nowhere in the
world there is so many and so good cigars and we have so much of them, that we
can just throw them away…”. Saying that, he throws the pack of Havanas through
the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed. At this time, the
American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it…
an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.
Ask a female if reincarnation was possible…
Ask a female if reincarnation was possible and she could only come back as a chicken or a bowling ball, what would she pick? If a chicken is picked, you tell her she would rather be layed than fingered and the opposite if a ball is selected.
Name tags
Oh sorry, i thought that was a braille name tag u had on!
Knock Knock 104
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Joey!
Joey who?
Joey to the centre of the Earth!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Johann!
Johann who!
Johann a beautiful smile!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Johannes!
Johannes who!
Johannes are cold!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
John!
John who?
John with the Wind!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
John!
John who!
John the Navy!
Watching the boy grow up…
Tell you about my kid after he got his BowFlex.
It’s 2:00 in the AM when I get home and the up-stairs light is on. Go in there and he is doing an incline bench press and ahs the TV turned on with 1/2 dressed women.
I asked him what he was watching, “an HBO special on how to negotiate with hookers.”
Nodded my head and went to bed.
Billy-Bob and Billi-Jo
it is 10:00 at the police station and there is only 2 officers working that day…Billy-Bob and Billi-Jo.
billy-bob: hey billi-jo…can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
…now its 11:00 at the police station…
billy-bob: hey billi-jo…can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
…now its midnight… and the power goes out…!!
billy-bob: hey billi-jo…can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
wait?! billy-bob thats not my belly-button.
billy-bob: i know…:> and thats not my finger!! :>
Clinton’s Son
What happened to Chelsea Clinton’s younger brother?
Monica swallowed him!
Official Polish Sex Quiz
Hillbilly Sex Quiz
Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most correct (True or False) and circle the T or F as appropriate.
1. A clitoris is a type of flower. T F
2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit. T F
3. “Spread Eagle” is an extinct bird. T F
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble. T F
5. Menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels. T F
6. A G-string is part of a violin. T F
7. Semen is another word for “sailor”. T F
8. Anus is the Latin word for “yearly”. T F
9. Testicles are found on an octopus. T F
10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles. T F
11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. T F
12. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas. T F
13. Coitus is a musical instrument. T F
14. Fetus is a character on “Gunsmoke”. T F
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. T F
16. A condom is an apartment complex. T F
17. An organism is the person who accompanies the chior in church. T F
18. A diaphram is a drawing in geometry. T F
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. T F
20. An erection is when the Japanese vote for their new government officials. T F
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. T F
22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass. T F
23. Pornography is the business of making record albums. T F
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins. T F
25. Douche is the Italian word for “twelve”. T F
26. An enema is someone who is not your friend. T F
27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese. T F
By doing the splits.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.