there was a man who walked into the vet’s office and he said his bird was sick, so the doctor put the stethoscope to the bird and said “your bird is dead then the man was crying and said how could he be dead
Author: admin
Mistakes
One day when Bill was out for lunch with his friend Jeff, they got into a conversation. Bill said
“I feel really bad about what I did this morning.””
“”Why?”” asked Jeff.
“”Well
2 men on top off a building
To men are at the top of a building having a drink,and one says to the other i bet you i can jump out this window and in 5 seconds jump back in.”NEVER”” the man says. so the man jumps out and jumps back in
How to get to the other side
There were these 2 blondes that were walking on top of a canyon. There was a hole in between them. They were trying to figure out how to get to the other side. So one called to the other girl,”How do you get to the other side?”” The other girl said back to her
The Frog And The Loan
A frog walks into a bank. He sees that the person at the front desk’s name is Patty Whack. The frog says ” Patty Whack
AT THE ZOO
YOU KNOW THE RIDDLE “ROW
The bitch and the man
A bitch meets a man in a tiny street:
the bitch: “Do you will fuck me?””
the man: “”How??
Blonds
A blonde and a brunette are taking a walk, and the burnette goes, “Oh look
The Urinalysis
One day, John’s tennis elbow was acting up and he decided to stop in and see a doctor. When he got to the doctor’s office the nurse told him he could see the doctor in 15 minutes but, first he’d have to give a urine sample. John said that this was absurd but, the nurse insisted and John complied. 15 minutes later, John was ushered in to see the doctor.
“So that tennis elbow is really acting up, huh?” the doctor said.
“The nurse must have told you,” said John, wondering how the Doctor knew.
“No. It was in your urinalysis.” and the doctor continued to say that he had just purchased this new machine that could diagnose every physical condition with total accuracy based on the urine contents. John didn’t believe a word of this but he did agree to provide another urine sample on check-up visit.
Two days later, John was sitting at the kitchen table with his wife and his teenage daughter. He was telling them about this ridiculous machine. When John decided to have a little fun with the doctor. John pissed in the bottle as did his wife and teenage daughter. Then while walking to his garage he had a brainstorm. John put a few drops of oil from his crankcase in the jar and finally beat off and put a few drops of semen in the jar. He drove to the doctors office, shook the bottle, then handed it to the nurse. This time his urinalysis took half an hour. Finally, John was ushered in to see the doctor.
The doctor looked at him and said, “I’ve got some bad news, smartass. Your daughter is pregnant, your wife’s got V. D., your car is about to throw a rod, and if you don’t stop beating off, that tennis elbow is never gonna heal!”
Secret Service
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
Pastor said, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend said, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the Secret Service.”
Things Your Mom Would Never Say to You
How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
1.Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
2.Let me smell that shirt – don’t worry, it’s good for another week.
3.Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
4.That outfit isn’t sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
5.Why don’t you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
6.The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like 7.I’m running a prison around here.
8.Don’t clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
9.Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?
10.Naw, you don’t have to call me, I’ll eventually figure it out if you’re in trouble.
En un certamen para saber
En un certamen para saber quien hab�a construido el cohete m�s potente del mundo, estaban como finalistas un franc�s, un estadounidense y un tontiland�s.
“Nosotros hemos inventado un aparato que va hasta Marte, da vuelta y vuelve”, dice el franc�s.
La gente flipando.
En su turno, el yanqui, todo chulo, presume: “Mi pa�s ha construido una nave espacial que da la vuelta al sistema solar y vuelve… y todav�a tiene gasolina para dar tres vueltas m�s”.
La gente se descontrola.
En su momento, el de Tontilandia asegura: “Yo he inventado un cohete que va al sol y vuelve…”
“�Eso es imposible, porque se quemar�a!”, le reclama el p�blico.
“��Cre�is que lo enviar�a de d�a, o qu�?!”, se defiende el tontiland�s.