One morning, a hillbilly went to feed his donkey and it wouldn’t eat.The hillbilly went to get the other hillbilly and they both took him to the vet.The vet told them the donkey had a cold,so she gave him these big,round horse pills.She told the hillbillys to stick the pills up the donkeys “anis”” when it is time for it to eat.The two hillbillys went back to their farm.When they got their
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Dead Bird
There is a blonde and a brunette walking down a street. The brunette says to the blonde, “look
The blond and her computer
one day there was this blond and she got on her computer and it said ” you got mail”” so she went outside and checked her mail and she didnt have any.
so she went back inside and got back on her computer and for the 2nd time her computer said “”you got mail”” so she went back outside and she sitll didnt have any mail.
so she got back on for the 3rd time “”you got mail”” so when he went back outside he een that she still didnt have any mail
Aliens
once there were three aliens who crashed their plane on earth. These aliens did not know any language. SO they decided to learn. The first one said ” I am the smartest
3 blondes and a barber
One day 3 blondes walked into a barber shop they each had portable C.D. players with headphones.
The first blonde came in a sat down and the barber said,”will you please take off your headphones”” The blonde replied “”no I can’t”” and before the barber could say anything she walked out of the shop.
The second blonde came in and sat down. The barber said the same thing
African Safari
A man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an
elephant in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. The man
very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the
thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns
and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
The elephant then continues on its way.
“I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember
me?”” the man muses to himself.
It is a few years later
Questions that have Confused humankind!!
Questions that have Confused humankind!!
a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll
squeeze these dangly things here
What Really Pissed Me Off!
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, “I’m so pissed off !””
“”Oh yeah? What happened?”” asked the bartender politely.
“”See
Beathovens Death
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest
to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognisable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah
Falling over a cliff.
A man hired a horse from a priest one day. The preist warned the man that the horse only obeys two commands: ‘Praise the Lord’ to go faster and ‘Hallelujah’ to stop. The man memorised this and took the horse out for a test run on top of a cliff. He first said, “Praise the Lord”” and the horse ran. The man suddenly saw the end of the cliff and realised that he had forgotten how to stop the horse. When the man was a centimeter close to edge
Mr. Piggy Wiggy
one day a boy and his sister were about to go to bed when his sister says “can i sleep with you””
Religous/ blonde
A blonde wanted to rent a horse the owner told her, “To make the horse go you say Hallejuah to make it stop you say Amen.”” The blonde got on the horse and said Hallejuah the horse went then the horse was coming to a cliff and the blonde forgot how to stop the horse so she said a prayer. When she said Amen the horse stopped