Golf Genie
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on
the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her
shot and the ball began to slice – her shot was headed directly at a very
large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through
the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to
see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they
peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out
and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small
gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked
the man, “Do you live here?”” “”No
Author: admin
Two young and rather attractive nuns were…
Two young and rather attractive nuns were being assigned to a church in a rather seedy neighborhood. The Mother Superior, who was rather concerned for their wellbeing, asked them what they would do is someone apprpoached them and tried to rape them.
“Well
FLOODlight failure
Julie, the husband of Fredrik, had diarrhoea. So, every now and then, she went to the loo.
But the only thing she’d done is missed the toilet and it all ran across the bathroom floor! She said “HELP! IT’S ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!!!”” The only thing that she couldn’t see was the whole room. It was dark because there was a power cut!
“”HELP!”” she said
THREE GUYS AND A FARMER
OK THREE GUYS GET STRANDED IN THE COUNTRY AND A FARMER FINDS THEM AND LETS THEM SLEEP IN HIS HOME.HE TELLS THEM THEY MAY STAY THERE BUT THEY MAY NOT TOUCH OR GO NEAR HIS SEXY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER OR ELSE HE WILL KILL THEM.SO FINALLY THE FARMER GOES TO SLEEP THE FIRST GUY GOES DOWN STAIRS AND HAS SEX WITH THE FARMERS DAUGHTER.THE GUY TRIES TO COME UP QUIETLY AND SUDDENLY THE FARMER JUMPES OUT AND SAYS WHOS THERE THE GUY SAYS”MEOW”” SO FARMER SAYS OH GOOD NIGHT YAH DUMB CAT.SO LATER THE SECOND GUY GOES DOWNSTAIRS AND HAS SEX WITH THE FARMERS DAUGHTER.THE SECOND GUY COMES BACK UP STAIRS AND GETS CAUGHT THE FARMER SAYD WHOS THERE THE SECOND GUY SAYS RUFF RUFF.THE FARMER SIGHS IN RELIEF OH GOOD NIGHT YAH F***IN DOG.SO THEN THIRD GUY GOES DOWN STAIRS AND HAS SEX WITH THE FARMERS DAUGHTER.HE COMES UP STAIRS THE FARMER YELLS WHOS THE THERE THE THIRD GUY YELLS ITS ONLY ME THE DOG.BOOM
Earphones
one day there was a blonde that would never let go of her cd player and she never toke her headphones off. but one day, she went to a barber shop to get her hair cut shorter.when she got to the barber shop, the lady told her to sit down and told her to wait at least 20 minutes because she had to finish with another customer. after 20 minutes it was her turn, so the lady asked her what kind of hair style she wanted and she said,”a little trim will do the trick!”” but the lady asked her to take her headphones off butt the blond said no. so the barber waited until she fell asleep then she could tke the headphones off and trim her hair. when she took her headphones off
Funeral Thoughts
A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: “Why are you laughing?””
“”I was thinking about my own funeral
To many Questions
A little boy asked his mom if he could take a shower with her, she said “Sure just don’t look up and don’t look down.”” So they get in the shower and the boy looked up and said “”mom what are those?”” She said “”Those are my headlights.”” Then the boy looked down and asked “”What is that?”” She said “”That is my grass.”” Then they get out of the shower and the boy asked his father if he could take a shower with him
The 3 Women Golfers!!!
One Day there were 3 women golfing when 1 of the womens balls flew into the woods.
The woman went to get it but when she did she saw a frog who was trapped.
The Frog said “Release me and i will grant you 3 wishes.””
So the lady released the frog and the frog said””thankyou
A penis, a pickle, & a cucumber
One day a penis, a pickle and a cucumber were all standing around talking about how much their lifes suck.
The Cucumber said “Imagine sitting in dirt all your life and then shoved in a bag
King’s three guys
There is a king and he calls a american guy a italian guy and a chinese guy to come to his palace
“my wife wants to have a blue baby”” he says.
So the american guy goes in
Sex for $1.80
A man walked up to a hooker and asked if she could show him how to have sex, she asked how much will you pay me, and he said, “all i have is a $
1.80″”. “”Alright then
Calling the airline
The blonde phoned American Airlines.
Blonde to the airline clerk: “how long is the flight from Ny to California?””
Airline clerk: “”just a minute dear””
Blonde: WOW