How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree
Author: admin
Un d�a cualquiera, va Franco
Un d�a cualquiera, va Franco y resucita, y se encuentra a 1 vigilante del Valle de los Ca�dos:
“Pero, �C�mo es posible?, pregunta estupefacto el vigilante.”
“Deje de extra�arse y d�game, �qui�n manda en Espa�a?”
“Mandan los suyos. Mire, de presidente Aznar…”
“�Buen periodista Manuel Aznar Zubigaray! Escribi� Historia Militar de la Guerra en Espa�a.”
“�No!, el nieto del periodista.”
“�Qui�n es el portavoz del Gobierno?”
“P�o Cabanillas.”
“�Muy inteligente! �Si se�or! �Cabanillas Gallas! Mi ministro de Informaci�n.”
“No, el hijo.”
“�Qui�n est� de embajador en Marruecos?”
“Arias Salgado.”
“�Bien! Mi otro ministro de Informaci�n y Turismo, Gabriel Arias Salgado.”
“�No! El hijo.”
“�C�mo van las relaciones con los marroqu�es?”
“Hay algunos problemas con la inmigraci�n y el Perejil, pero el gobierno ha encargado a Fern�ndez Miranda esos asuntos.”
“�Hombre! �Torcuato! �Muy acertado para el cargo!”
“�No, no, no!. El hijo, Enrique.”
“�Y en Vascongadas y Catalu�a? �C�mo van las cosas?”
“Ahora las regiones se llaman Autonom�as, y el ministro que las coordina es Jes�s Posada.”
“�Posada Cacho!, mi fiel Gobernador Civil en Soria.”
“�No!, el hijo. Y Oreja es el representante del partido del gobierno en Vascongadas.”
“�Hombre mi fiel Marcelino!”
“No, el sobrino.”
“�Y en justicia, qui�n est�?”
“Hay uno nuevo, no me acuerdo como se llama, pero antes estaba Mariscal de Gante.”
“�Bien! Mi director general de R�gimen Jur�dico de la Prensa, Jaime Mariscal de Gante.”
“�No, tampoco!. Su hija Margarita.”
“�Y en la Puerta del Sol, en la sede de Gobernaci�n, qui�n esta?”
“Un buen amigo de los socialistas, Ru�z.”
“�Pero como mi portavoz, V�ctor Ru�z Alb�niz, va a ser amigo de los socialistas?”
“�No!, el nieto, Alberto Ru�z Gallard�n.”
“Y en Galicia, dime �Qui�n est� en mi Galicia natal?”
“Fraga.”
“�El nieto supongo?”
“No… �el de siempre!”
Closing sermon words
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.”
10 Things you don’t want to hear in an Airplane
1. “The union president called – he said the pilots’ strike starts
IMMEDIATELY.”
2. “We’ll just ask the flight attendant to wake us up when we get
there.”
3. “My name is Forrest Gump – people call me Forrest Gump.”
4. “Hey, Jim, do you remember where we’re going?”
5. “Buckle your seat belt – I’m going to try something I saw in a
cartoon.”
6. “Bye, bye, Miss American Pie…”
7. “Wow, we’re sure a lot lighter now that we dropped that second
engine!”
8. “Only 500 more flight hours, and I’ll get my license!”
9. “They say this plane practically flies itself. Good thing, huh?”
10. “TODAY WE DIE FOR ALLAH!”
The more general the title of a course, the…
The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn
from it.
The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply
it later.
What was Elders’ last official act?
Q: What was Elders’ last official act?
A: A memo to Pee Wee Herman asking her to come up to Washington and give her a
hand.
A Chinese couple is in bed one night, when…
A Chinese couple is in bed one night, when the man gives his
wife an elbow and says, “May-Ling, how about a little 69. I’m
in the mood for some 69.” “Shut-up and go back to sleep,” groans
his wife. “Come on, you know I like 69, and for that matter, so
do you!” “What time is it?” “1:30.” “You want me to get up
at this hour and make beef and broccoli for the two of us?”
Alliteration About Maturbation
My first time ever
the sky was dark
the moon was high
all alone
just my dick and I.
My schlong so hard
it was a clue
I knew just what
I had to do.
I remembered my fears
my fast beating heart
but slowly I spread
my legs apart.
I didn’t know how
but I tried my best
I started by placing
my hand on my tests.
My pubes so curly,
my balls so fine
I felt a tingle down my spine.
Then I did it
I felt no shame
and all at once the white stuff came.
Desert
Once there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had to go to
the desert and take one thing.
The brunette took a water bottle, the redhead took an umbrella and the
blonde took a car-door.
They were walking in the desert with their objects and 3 men came up to
them and said to the Brunette, “why have you got a water bottle?” The
Brunette replied,” To drink water!”
They asked the redhead,”why do you have an umbrella?” She said,”Because if
it gets hot I can have some shade.”
Then they asked the blonde,” Why do you have a car-door?” She replied,” If
it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window!”
Tiny.
Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would have
to find their own place. See “Cute,” “Enchanting,” and “Good Starter Home.”
Screwdriver?
A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat tire.
He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap.
After he struggles a few minutes, she looks out at him and says, ‘You wanna screwdriver?’
He says, ‘We might as well. I can’t get this fucking hubcap off’
Body Doubles
The eight Saddam body doubles are gathered in one of the bunkers in downtown
Baghdad. Tariq Aziz, the deputy prime minister, comes in and says, ‘I have some
good news and some bad news.’ They ask for the good news first.
Aziz says, ‘The good news is that Saddam is still alive, so you all still have
jobs.’
‘And the bad news?’ they ask.
Aziz replies, ‘He’s lost an arm’.