You might be a redneck if you mow your lawn and you find a car.
Author: admin
Frustrated young Mr. Hall…
Frustrated young Mr. Hall
Pushed his clone off a very high wall.
He said with disgust,
“All it does is cuss.”
He was jailed for an obscene clone fall.
Sex shop
Essex girl enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator,
the man says choose from our range on the wall,
the girls says I’ll take that big red one
he says thats the fucking fire extinguisher!!
Turpentine vs. Holy Water
A boy was sitting on the street corner in front of a catholic
church one day holding a bottle of turpentine. Then the pope
came out and asked him what he had in his hands.
The boy replied, “This is turpentine, the most powerful potion
in the world!”
Then the pope said, “I hate to dissagree with you boy but holy
water is the most powerful potion in the world. If you put it on
the belly of a pregnent woman then she will pass her baby right
away!”
The boy said, “Well, if you put this on a cat’s ass then it will
pass a motorcycle!”
Q: How many social
Q: How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.
A quote on marriage
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Shoe joke
I guy walks into a bar and say can i see someones shoe so an old man walks up and gives him his shoe the guy looks into the shoe and starts to speak and says i see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “with a long pause” a line with you in running after your shoe.and the guy threw the old guys shoe out the door.
Rejected Childrens Book Titles
MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:
1. Juggling Knives is Easy
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
5. “Whatcha’ Doin'” the Wonderful Phrase
6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher
8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub,a Blowdryer,and a Fork
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
10. Arthur Gets Hunted
11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
13. The hit sequel to “Elvis is your real dad” Mrs.Clause is your real Mom
14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
15. All Guns Squirt Water
16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
20. 101 recipies to make with Dog
21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree
22. The New Boy is Bad
23. Your Nightmares are real
24. The Time When Elmer REALLY got Bugs
25. Scooby Doo Gets Rabbis
26. The Lion, the Steak, and the Blender
27. The Little Kitten that was too Curious…..
28. The Boy who was so Stupid that his Dad put him up for Adoption
29. Mickey Mouse and the Mouse Trap
30. Chuck E. Cheese and Cheddar get a Flamethrower
31. Grampa Gets A Casket
32. Dad’s New Wife Robert
33. The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refridgerator
life, pringles, and your virginity
virginity is like a balloon,
one small prick and its gone!
sex is like a box of pringles,
one you pop you just cant stop!
life is like a dick,
when it gets hard, fuck it!
On fire
Q 2 gays are having sex, the house catches on fire which one gets out first ?
A the one on the bottom cause his shit is all ready packed
True Story: On the Sea
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.
The ensign’s efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.
He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, “My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules — Make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way.”
an insult to yourself
read outloud
I
Am
Sofa
King
We
Todd
It