Author: admin

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician Dr. Cohen.

“Doctor,” Mr. Spiegel said, “I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine.”

“Nonsense,” the doctor said. “Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.”

“It isn’t possible,” the man insisted. “This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet black hair for generations.”

“Well,” said the doctor, “let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?”

Spiegel seemed a bit ashamed. “I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months”

“There you have it!” the doctor Cohen said confidently. “its just rust.”

A man and his father were at retierment home and the man siad dad can you sit down and be back with the papers to get you in. as the son left the dad started to lean to the right but a nurse came and stuffed some pillows on his right side so then he started lening to the left and a doctor came and stuffed pillows on his left side so then he started lening to the front and an elder lady came and stuffed some pillows on his front than his son came and siad so how do you like it is it nice and the dad replied I supose but they wont let me fart

This married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest, “I had an affair with a woman… almost.”

The priest says, “what do you mean almost?”

The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together but then I stopped.”

The priest replies, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to go near that woman again, now say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.”

The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.

The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, “I saw that, you didn’t put any money in the poor box!”

The man replied, “Well Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!”

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious
one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with
his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.

However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful
wife, and his children were healthy and good- natured, whereas the pious man’s
job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day
and his kids wouldn’t give him the time of the day.

So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and
asked:

“Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and
confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn’t even believe in you
and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor
and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?”

And a great voice was heard from above: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T BOTHER ME ALL THE
TIME!”