Author: admin

An Australian travel writer at the beginning of a 6-month tour
of Canada was checking out of the Vancouver Hilton, and as he
paid his bill said to the manager, “By the way, what’s with the
Indian chief sitting in the lobby? He’s been there ever since I
arrived.”

“Oh that’s ‘Big Chief Forget-me Not’.” said the manager. “The
hotel is built on an Indian reservation, and part of the
agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the
rest of his life. He is known as ‘Big Chief Forget-me Not’
because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember the
slightest detail of his life.”

The travel writer took this in, and as he was waiting for his
cab decided to put the chief’s memory to the test.

“‘g’day, mate!” said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod in
return. “What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?”

“Eggs,” was the chief’s instant reply, without even looking up,
and indeed the Aussie was impressed.

He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the
east coast and back, telling others of Big Chief Forget-me Not’s
great memory. (One local noted to him that ‘How’ was a more
appropriate greeting for an Indian chief than ”ello mate.’) On
his return to the Vancouver Hilton six months later was
surprised to see ‘Big Chief Forget-me Not’ still sitting in the
lobby, fully occupied with whittling away on a stick.

“How?” said the Aussie to the Chief, who again did not stop to
look up.

“Scrambled.” said the Chief.

Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.
1. Name two days of the week that begin with T.
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God’s first name?

Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, 1. The two days of the week that begin with T are Today and Tomorrow 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. 3. God has two-first names and they are Andy and Howard.”

Saint Peter said, “OK I’ll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, your answer is acceptable. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why did you ever think that God’s first name was either Andy or Howard?”

Forrest responded, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,…””OK, I give in” said Saint Peter, but what about the God’s first name stuff?

Forrest said, “Well, from the song… Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own… and the prayer… Our Father which Art in Heaven, Howard be thy name….”

Saint Peter let him in without further ado!