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The Doctor’s Convention

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There’s a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor’s convention one
night. A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female
doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they’re sitting next to each
other by the end of dinner.After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to
go up to his hotel room.”Sure,” the woman says. ”Let me go wash my hands
first.”After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she
washes her hands again.
This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ”You know, you
must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.”
Angry at this remark, the woman says, ”Well, you must be an anesthesiologist,
because I didn’t feel a thing!”

How musicians do it

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Altos are sandwiched between sopranos and tenors.

Bach did it with the organ.

Band members do it all night.

Band members do it in a parade.

Band members do it in front of 100,000 people.

Band members do it on the football field.

Baritones do it deeper.

Bass clarinetists put it between their legs and blow.

Basses and altos do it lower.

Basses have rhythm.

Beethoven did it apassionately.

Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra.

Choir boys do it unaccompanied.

Clarinetists do it with alternate fingerings.

Contrabass clarinetists do it deeper with a lot of tongue and steady rhythm.

Cymbal players do it with a crash.

DJs do it on request.

DJs do it on the air.

Drummers beat it.

Drummers do it with both hands and feet.

Drummers do it with rhythm.

FM Disc Jockeys do it in stereo and with high fidelity.

Frank Sinatra does it his way.

Harpsichordists do it continuously!

Music hackers do it at 3 am.

Musicians do it with rhythm.

Musicians duet together.

Organists … um, well …

Piano players have faster fingers

Piano students learn on their teachers’ instruments.

Singers do it with their diaphragms.

Sopranos and tenors do it higher.

Sopranos do it in unison.

Tenors have breath control.

Trombone players do it in 7 positions.

Trombones do it faster.

Trombonists use more positions.

Trumpet players blow the best.

Trumpet players do it with a fanfare.

Tuba players do it with big horns.

Tubas do it deeper.

Violinists do it gently.

Violists do it alone.

Violoncellists do it low.

Virtuosi appreciate it.

Vocalists are good in their mouths.

Woodwind players do it in the reeds.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci

Betting Bessie

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Eighty-year-old Bessie bursts into the recreation room of the men’s retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and saucily announces, “Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand, can have sex with me tonight!”A witty, elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?”Bessie thinks a minute and replies, “Close enough!”

Affair

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“The thrill is gone from my marriage,” Bob told his friend Derek.

“Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” Derek suggested.

“But what if my wife finds out?”

“Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bob. Go ahead and tell her about it!”

So Bob went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.”

“Forget it,” said his wife. “I’ve tried that, it never worked.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis