Knock-Knock.
Who’s there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken I give you some jelly beans?
Knock-Knock.
Who’s there?
Tommy.
Tommy who?
Tommy ache’cause I ate all the jelly beans.
Author: admin
You know u you are a redneck?
You might be a redneck if you go to a dance, and they say do the ho down and you throw your wife on the ground.
Bat man to the rescue
what do you call a guy with fluff on his ass
Un joven y su futuro
Un joven y su futuro suegro est�n de copas. En un momento de la ronda, el muchacho le dice:
“Sabes que llevo con tu hija siete a�os de noviazgo y creo que ya es momento de pedirte el co�o de ella”.
Extra�ado, el futuro suegro se le queda mirando y le aclara
�C�mo que el co�o, ser� la mano, normalmente se suele pedir la mano!”
“�Que va, que va! �El co�o, el co�o, que estoy hasta los cojones de que me haga pajas!
Boots
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her
kindergarten students put his boots on?
He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and
him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. When the
second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost
whimpered when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the
wrong feet.” She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t
any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the
boots back on – this time on the right feet.
He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.” She bit her tongue
rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you
say so?” like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help
him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
He then said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear
them.” She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered
up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
She said, “Now, where are your mittens?” He said, “I stuffed them
in the toes of my boots…”
Short gender jokes
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Prison Cell Graffiti
For a good time, hire a hooker,
For a lot of time, hire my attorney.
–Anonymous Prison Cell Graffiti
Being A Truck Driver
The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Truck Driver
One day, a little boy goes into the candy shop and orders five pounds of “m-n-m’s”,.
The lady at the counter asked him “Don’t you mean five bags?”
He said “No, i want five pounds.”
She was reluctant, but measured them out, put them in a bag and handed them to the little boy. He paid for them, and went outside and sat on the curb.
He ate a few m-n-m’s, and a cat walks by.
He picks up the cat and takes a big bite out of it.
He moves a little further down the curb, and does it all over again.
After the little boy did this about 15-20 times, the lady in the candy store starts to wonder.
She goes outside and asks the little boy “What in the hell are you doing?”
The little boy gives her this answer “I am learning how to be a truck driver like my daddy. I’m popping pills, eating pussy, and moving’ down the line.”
Learn your limits
The one thing you need to know when drinking beer is to learn your limits.
I’m just a slow learner…
Snorkelling
Fanny misunderstood when Dick said he wanted to go snorkelling!
What’s the difference between a
What’s the difference between a Mexican American Princess, and a Jewish
American Princess?
A Mexican American Princess has fake jewelry and real orgasms.
�Is it mine?�
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
�Is it mine?�