Author: admin

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:Dear God,Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.

El Nino storms are affecting trade with Asian countries. A freighter bound for Long Beach Calif. with a cargo of yo-yos got caught in a particularly violent storm. It sank 65 times.

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: “Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates.”

“BASTARD!” cried the Mother Superior. “For years he told me it was Gabriel’s trumpet and I have been blowing it.”

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.The store owner replies, “I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale.The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty dollars for that cat.”And the owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat.The collector continues, “Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.”And the owner says, “Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.”

Hubo una vez un concurso de a ver qui�n ten�a la capacidad de masturbarse m�s veces seguidas.

Entra el primer concursante, Arnold Flagpole de los EEUU. Comienza: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, …�50! Y cae agotado.

Viene el siguiente, Gregory Noparovich de Rusia. Empieza: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, …50, …100…�150! Casi se lo llevan en camilla.

Despu�s entra Nkano Noacab� del Congo. Inicia: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, …50, …100, …150, …200, …500, …�1000! Se va hospitalizado, con todo y suero.

Por �ltimo, entra don Goyito Flori�n de Guatemala, un viejito de 90 a�os. Todos se burlaban de �l. Pero comienza a todo vapor: …50, …100, …500, …1000, …5000, 10000, …100000, …�1000000! �Y segu�a!

Hasta que por fin lo paran.

“Ya basta don Goyito. Mire que ya gan�. P�rele ah�. Mire que ya no tenemos cubetas que llenar.”

As� que le dan su trofeo y su corona. Luego, se va. De pronto, se dan cuenta que no le hab�an dado el cheque con el premio. Mandan a un muchacho a buscarlo a la calle.

El muchacho se topa entonces con un tipo que ven�a solo por la calle, y le pregunta:

“Mire, �no vio a un viejito que llevaba puesta una corona y sujetaba un trofeo en su mano?”

“�Ah si!”, dice el tipo, “Lo acabo de ver que se estaba masturbando all� a la vuelta”.