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Se encuentran 3 amigas despu�s de la luna de miel y empiezan a comentar…
La primera dice, “mi esposo result� protestante, protest� toda la noche y por todo y no dejaba de protestar.”
La segunda comenta, “el mio sali� metodista, lo mismo todas las noches, lo mismo, lo mismo, puro m�todo.”
Y la tercera dice: “Pues el mio sali� buen�simo porque me result� luterano: �una noche le daba por el utero, la otra por el ano!
An old hearing impaired gentleman visited his doctor and he had been warned to be careful as he had a heart murmur.
The doctor was therefore most surprised to see the old fellow out on the town, whooping it up. He got his attention and took him aside. “Don’t you remember what I told you the other day?” he inquired.
“Oh, I surely do.” the old gent replied, “Best dang advice I ever had. I did just as you said. I got me a hot mama and I’m cheerful
What is Green, Slimy, and Smells like Pork?
Kermit’s Dick
your mamas so fat it takes her five of her own lifetimes to walk around herself
WOMEN’S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.
Hail hits your house and you have to take it to the body shop for an estimate.
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I can pee farther than anyone else”
“Yeah” the bartender says.
“Sure, and I can pee right on the spot from 75 feet away” the guy says.
“Yeah right” the bartender says.
“It’s true, in fact, I’ll bet you 100 dollars that I cam pee right into a beer bottle 75 feet away and not spill a drop” the guy says.
“Go ahead” the bartender says smiling at the chance to make some easy money.
So a beer bottle is placed on the floor 75 feet away. Then the guy whips out his dick and starts peeing. He pees on the wall, he pees on the floor, he pees on the ceiling and bar, he even pees on the bartender. He pees everywhere EXCEPT in the bottle.
The bartender starts smiling and tells the guy to pay up. The guy goes into another room, comes out a few minutes later with a big grin on his face and pays the bartender. The bartender then says to the guy, “Why are you so happy, you just lost a hundred bucks?”
Then the guy says “”Well, I just bet the guys in the other room a thousand bucks that I could pee all over your bar and not only would you not mind, but you’d be smiling.”
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.130. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he/she refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of the room. Insist that he/she remove all of his/her possessions immediately.
Maria is a devoted, religious girl. She gets married and has 17 children.
Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband.
Then he dies. A while later, she dies.
At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, “At least they’re finally together.”
A guy sitting in the front row says, “Excuse me father, but you do mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?”
The priest says, “I mean her legs.”
There was 3 people on a island, 2 ladys, 1 men. The first lady was a bruenett and the second lady was a blonde. They were all stuck on a island, so the blonde swam to safety, the bruenett made a raft and rowed to safety and the man walked across the bridge.
Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the town tycoon, a modern-day scrooge. One day during the winter the lake frozen over. The peddler realized that he could cut off two miles from his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler, “I’ll be darned if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!”