“There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have
been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We’ll taste
your food, you check our mail.”
Author: admin
Hunters
Two hunters are roaming through the woods when all of a sudden one of them grabs his throat and dies. The other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator “my friend just grabbed his throat and died!” “okay okay, calm down” replied the operator “go over to him fist and make sure that he is actually dead” “okay” replies the hunter. The phone goes silent, than a sudden bang from a gun is heard. “okay” says the hunter “now what?
Clinton one-liner
If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use?
Donkey
A donkey walks into the bar and the bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
Long happy marriage
A couple were celebrating their Golden wedding anniversary.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the husband. “we visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.”
“We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said ‘That’s once.’
“We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’
“We hadn’t gone a half mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule in the head.
“I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ ”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
Columbus was a Democrat…
They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat.
When he left to discover America, he didn’t know where he was going.
When he got there he didn’t know where he was.
And it was all done on a government grant.
hi im ….
Three guys were introduced to a girl.The first said hi im peter
not a saint the second then said hi im paul not the pope.The
third then said hi im john not the baptist.The girl nodded at
them and smiled and said im mary not a virgin.
tHE bombs
One time a brunette got hit with an apple and cried and then a red head got hit with a pumpkin and cried and then a blonde didnt know there was a bomb in her house so she farted and the house blew up and then she laughed… ha ha ha…
oh ya just becuz i am a blonde dont meen i cant make fun of them.
New Dance
There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. “All you have to do” she told her class “is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step side-step and turn around.”
7 Quickies!
1) On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, exactly nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.
2) What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
3) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me — they were cramming for their finals!
4) If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
5) If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
6) I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
7) Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Knock KnockWho’s there?Peas!Peas who?Peas of
Knock KnockWho’s there?Peas!Peas who?Peas of the rock!
Dishes
Knock, knock Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes me. Who ish you?