Author: admin

You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she:

Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it
said concentrate.

Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his
mind.

Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

Sends a fax with a stamp on it.

Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin’ “Free Lays!”

Tries to drown a fish.

If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you’d get
change.

Thinks socialism means partying.

Trips over a cordless phone.

Takes a ruler to bed to see how long they slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says “Sign Here” he
put Sagittarius.”

Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Studies for a blood test and fails.

Invents a solar powered flashlight.

Sells the car for gas money.

Heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moves.

Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 bus twice instead.

Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport
left”, he turned around and went home.

Est�n una pareja de reci�n casados en su noche de bodas, y el novio decide que se va a desnudar poco a poco, lo que a la novia le parece estupendo.

Empieza quit�ndose la camisa, y la novia le dice: “Pepe, qu� brazos, qu� espalda, qu� pecho., son ��PURA DINAMITA!!”.

Pepe, cada vez m�s entusiasmado, se quita los pantalones, y la novia le vuelve a decir:

“Pepe qu� vientre, qu� piernas., son ��PURA DINAMITA!!”.

Pepe no cab�a en s� de gozo ante la expectaci�n de su novia, se quita los slips y se vuelve de espalda a la novia, y �sta le dice: “Pepe, que culo, es ��PURA, PURA. DINAMITA!!, pero Pepe, date la vuelta por Dios”.

Entonces Pepe se da la vuelta y la novia le dice: “Pepe, �qu� poca mecha para tanta dinamita!”

A farmer buys a cute little filly that he plans on racing next season, but when gets her home, his old stallion smells her and wants her and startskicking up dust. The farmer doesn’t want her knocked up, because she won’t be able to race,so he calls the vet.The vet tells him to tie a bedsheet around the filly’s rump to keep the stallion away. So that day, the farmer does just that.The next day, the farmer goes out to the corral to make sure the vet’s solution worked, but the filly’s nowhere to be found. The farmer follows her hoof trail to the neighbour’s farm and sees the neighbour kid out by their barn.”Hey boy, did you see a filly run by with a bedsheet tied around her rump?” the farmer asks.The kid replies,”No sir, but one dashed past here early this morning with a handkerchief sticking out of her ass!!”

Dos viejas estrellas de Hollywood se encuentran en la ceremonia de los Oscares, tras muchos a�os de no verse. La primera se quiere dar a notar y dice, “�Sab�as que hice asegurar mis pechos por un mill�n de d�lares?”

Y la segunda le responde: “�S�? �Y qu� hiciste con todo ese dinero?”

Un d�a est� Batman limpiando el batimovil y llega Robin a la baticueva y le dice a Batman:

“Batman, dame un besito.”

“Ven aca Robin, �qu� es lo que tu me est�s diciendo?”

“Que me des un besito.”

“Robin deja tu frecura que yo no soy maric�n.”

“Batman, no seas malo dame un besito.”

“Robin co�o que yo no soy maric�n.”

“Batman, mira, no me vengas con cuentos, que anoche cuando salimos de la fiesta de La Mujer Maravilla, que salimos medio borrachos, nos montamos en el batimovil, tu ibas a manejar, y pusiste la primera, brung brung… pusiste la segunda, pusiste la reversa, volviste a poner la primera, la segunda, la tercera, frenabas, pon�as la primera, la segunda, la tercera, volv�as a frenar y volv�as hasta que llegamos a la baticueva.”

“S� �y qu�?”

“Co�o, Batman, no me vengas con cuentos, que tu sabes que el batimovil es autom�tico.”