Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let’s look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green.Lemma 2. The crocodile is greener than it is wide: Let’s look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but it is wide only along its width. Therefore, the crocodile is greener than it is wide.From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Author: admin
70 pickup lines
1. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.
2. Do you want to see something swell?
3. Hey babe…do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
4. Drop ’em!
5. What do you like for breakfast?
6. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
7. Wanna fuck like bunnies?
8. Say, did we go to different schools together?
9. Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
10. I had a friend who use to hand out phone cards that said: “Smile if you want to sleep with me.” And watch them try to hold back their laugh.
11. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
12. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
13. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
14. Hey baby, let’s go make some babies.
15. At the office copy machine. “Reproducing eh?” “Can I help?”
16. Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
17. I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
18. Hey babe…can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
19. Hey babe…can you suck start a Harley?
20. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, “I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum.”
21. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? HEY! What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?
22. A women asks, “Excuse me, do you have the time?” You: “Do you have the energy?”
23. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
24. Say mother, want another? (if she has kids)
25. Bond. James Bond.
26. Do you spit or swallow?
27. You look like the type of girl that has heard ever line in the book. So what’s one more?
28. Your place or mine?
29. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
30. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
31. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
32. Your face or MINE!?
33. “Are you ready to go home yet?”
34. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
35. When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
36. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
37. I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
38. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.
39. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
40. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
41. I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
42. I’d look good on you.
43. Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
44. I’d give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.
45. I would kill or die to make love to you.
46. Sex is a killer…want to die happy?
47. I love every bone in your body – especially mine.
48. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
49. HI! Can I buy you a car?
50. NOW, BITCH!
51. Fancy a fuck?
52. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
53. Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
54. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
55. Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Gretchen?
56. I’m Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
56. Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
57. Look at the tag in her shirt and say: “I want to see if you were really made in heaven.”
58. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on?
59. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
60. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Have you ever had your belly-button licked?…(Yes)…From the inside?
61. Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.
62. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
63. Hi, how are you?
64. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) ‘Cause I could see myself in your pants.
65. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
66. Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
67. I am a magical being, take off your bra.
68. Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
69. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
70. Hold out two fingers and say: “Why should a women masturbate with these two fingers?” (I don’t know.) “‘Cause they’re mine sweetheart.”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Iowa!Iowa who?Iowa you
Knock KnockWho’s there?Iowa!Iowa who?Iowa you a dollar!
Youer pouer momaa
youer mama is so pouer she puts the broun bag speshul on layaway.
Se encontraba un tontiland�s en
Se encontraba un tontiland�s en una reuni�n muy refinada.
Estaban sentados comiendo cuando a una joven se le escapa un peque�o peo, pero perceptible por la dem�s comunidad.
En eso se levanta un caballero y muy cort�smente dice:
“Disculpen, algo me debe haber ca�do mal.”
Mientras el tontiland�s pensaba: “Qu� noble su acto, si vuelve a pasar yo tambi�n lo imitar�.”
Justo en ese momento una vieja guatona se tira un tremendo peo que se escuch� en todo el establecimiento, se levanta el tontiland�s y dice:
“El peo de la vieja corre por mi cuenta.”
Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-…
Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of
Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be
charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public
intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t,” he stated in a
phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of
the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his
purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged “need.”
“I guess I was just really into it, you know? “he commented with evident
embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a
Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience
until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
“It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,” said officer Taylor. “I
walked up to (Lawrence) and he’s…just working away at this pumpkin.”
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. “I
just went up and said, “Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?
“He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked
me straight in the face and said…………….
“A pumpkin? Damn…is it midnight already?”
Arab StarTrek
An arab calls the startrek producer and asks why aren’t there
any arab’s on the show? Because its in the future.
Why don’t Blondes…?
Q: Why don’t Blondes use vibrators anymore?
A: Because they keep chipping their teeth !!!
STORKS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby
stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry,
son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making
them happy.”
The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting
in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, “Son, your father
will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and
daddies.”
A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son has
been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the
parents ask him where he’s been all night.
The baby stork says, “No where. Just scaring the hell out of college
students!”
Fish Heads
A woman went to “Jim’s Seafood Stroe” and asked Jim what the
best part of the fish is.
Jim said, “The best part of the fish is the head.” He also said,
“Not only they are good, but the heads will make you smarter.”
So the woman was wanted to try and see if they are really that
good. The heads were $4.34 each, so she got some. Later that
week she got some more and told Jim that the heads were REALLY
good. So for about 3 weeks, 2 times a week she got more fish
heads. The next time she came in she said, “You know I have been
thinking, the fish heads are $4.34 each. When I could get a
whole fish with the head for $3.00″
And Jim said, “See you got smarter already.”
Replies…
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they
make as they go flying by.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
through a suitable application of high explosives.
Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along
without it.
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re
the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there
the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing
him again.
I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape
key.
I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.
You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, ‘cuz, like you are
crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
Mice cream
Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
A: Mice cream.