�En qu� piensa la mujer mientras hace el amor?
A los 17 a�os: �Ojal� que no pase nada!
A los 30 a�os: �Ojal� que esta vez me regale el tapado de piel!
A los 50 a�os: hay que cambiar la pintura del techo.
Author: admin
Job Centre
After the Second Coming Jesus returns to Earth.
Within a week he is summoned to the Job Centre and told to find a job.
He is asked to state previous work experience.
He replies that he has done a bit of fishing and some carpentry.
The Clerk checks the computer and finds two job vacancies .
Job one is #200.00 a week as a Carpenter in Birmingham .
The other is as a Fishermen in Galilee at #1,000.00 a week.
The clerk asks him which job he wants to apply for.
After much thought Jesus replies the Birmingham one.
The Clerk tells him again the difference in pay.
He asks him why he doesn’t want the Galilee job.
He sighs and says.
” I worked in Galilee once and was hammered with tax (tacks).
Only joking …don’t get cross.
Knock Knock 81
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Handsome!
Handsome who?
Handsome chips through the keyhole and I’ll tell you more!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hank!
Hank who?
Hank you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hannah!
Hannah who?
Hannah partridge in a pear tree!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hanover!
Hanover who?
Hanover your money!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans!
Hans who?
Hans off the table!
The Rookie Cop
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner people.”A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner… NOW!”Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”Pretty good,” chuckled the vet, “especially since this is a bus stop.”
How the blonde died
how did the blonde drowned?
ther was a scartch and sniff stick on the botom of the pool
Chapped Lips
On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. After dismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it’s tail and kissed it where the sun don’t shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed the whole thing.
“Whatya do that fer?” he asked.
“Got chapped lips,” the cowboy replied.
The old man asked, “Does that help?”
The cowboy said, “No, but it keeps me from lickin’ ’em.”
Barmen
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we will forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager.
For ever and ever.
Barmen.
Dent repair
A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.
So he told her all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde’s blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
“I’m trying to pop out this dent, but it’s not really working.”
“Duh, you have to roll up the windows first!”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Ur mamaz so fat
your momas so fat she has her own area code
Forty-five years
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
New year chicken
on new year eve, one family went to church for the preparation for the new year day. so before they came back the chicken they want to kill for the has escape so they trace the chicken to where they will find and find it on the roof of the church. the chicken was prayer that i would not die but to proclaim the work of the Lord.
Where are the lines?
One day a young lady from the city was driving her 2 aunts and cousin to their house.
When the young lady got on the dirt road that the ladies lived on she was all over the other side of the road.
The aunt that was sitting in the front asked her why was she all on the other side.
The young lady said Where are the lines then?
The aunt said, Its like the equator, just because you cant see it doesnt mean you cant imagine its there!