- Murphy’s Law of Cable TV
- If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it
again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.
Author: admin
shadow vs. relection
you’re so black that when you looked in the mirror, you thought
you were lookin’ at a shadow.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Thayer!Thayer who?Thayer sorry
Knock KnockWho’s there?Thayer!Thayer who?Thayer sorry and I won’t tell teacher!
Some come to the fountain
Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink, some prefer to just gargle.
Icecubes
Q: Why can’t blondes make icecubes?
A: They can never remember the recipe.
Canoe
Knock-Knock
Who’s there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoehead!
You’re a redneck … you have more tattoos
You’re a redneck if …. You have more tattoos than teeth.
Cajun Math
A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, “I’m not hiring that ole lazy cajun…”He decided to set a test for Boudreaux, hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions, and he’d be able to refuse him the job without any problems.The first question the boss asked was, “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.” Boudreaux says, “Dat’s easy,” and draws three oak trees. The boss says, “What the hell’s that?” Boudreaux says, “Tree ‘n’ tree ‘n’ tree makes nine.”The boss says, “Fair enough.” “Second question, same rules, but this time represent 99.”Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Dere ya go, sir,” he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?” Boudreaux says, “Each tree is dirty now! so it’s dirty tree, ‘n’ dirty tree, ‘n’ dirty tree…dat’s 99!”The boss, now is getting worried he’s going to have to hire him, so he says, “All right, question three. Same rules once again, but this time represent the number 100.”Boudreaux stares into space again, then shouts, “I got it!” He then makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says “Dere ya go, sir. 100.” The boss looks at Boudreaux’s attempt and thinking that he’s got him this time. “Go on Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a hundred.” Boudreaux leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, “A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got, dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, an dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes a hundred! So when can I start workin’?
Geniologists do it as homework….
Geniologists do it as homework.
New Mercedes
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.
Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?”
“No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Cheap drinker
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says, “Set me up with five whiskey shots, and make ’em doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all five are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doin’ all this drinking. “You’d drink ’em this fast too if you had what I have.” The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have pal?” The man quickly replies, “I have a dollar.”
Redesigned Barbie
Mattel has changed the measurements on its world famous Barbie doll to make her body more realistic.Her chest was reduced, and her waist was made larger.Mattel hopes this will send the message that even an ugly woman can be a complete airhead.Officials at Mattel say if the new, more realistic looking Barbie doll goes over well with the public.They may introduce a new, gayer looking Ken doll by next Christmas.Mattel’s announced that it’s reconfiguring its Barbie doll to make her more flat-chested and fatter.Of course, the new Barbie will also come with a dream-house bachelor pad where Ken can meet his thinner, bigger-breasted mistresses.