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Three guys were taking needles, two Americans and an [ethnic] guy.
The first American takes the drug and hands the needle to the second
American who cleans the needle, takes the drug and hands it to the [ethnic] guy.
The [ethnic] guy takes the drug without cleaning the needle.
The two Americans yell at the [ethnic] guy, telling him he can get aids
from using a dirty needle.
The [ethnic] guy says “No I can’t. I’m wearing a condom”
A man goes into the doctor’s office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says “I have some bad news. You have HAGS.” “What is HAGS” the man asks.”It’s herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea, and syphilis” says the doctor.”Oh my God” says the man. “What are you going to do?””We are going to put you in an isolated room and feed you pancakes and pizza.””Is that going to help me” says the man.”No” says the doctor. “But it’s the only food we can think of that we can slide under the door”
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. “How do you breath through something so small?”
Entra un tipo en una droguer�a y le dice al dependiente: “Me da 200 bolitas de alcanfor para acabar con la polilla”.
El dependiente le objeta: “�pero hombre, con un par de bolitas tienes de sobra!”
“Es por si fallo”, responde el palurdo.
Michael Hoolihan was courting Frances Phelan.
The young couple sat in the parlor of the girl’s house night after night, much to the annoyance of old man Phelan.
One night he couldn”t take any more. Standing at the top of the stairs, he yelled down,
“What’s that young fella doin’ here all hours of the night?”
“Why, Dad, ” said Frances, “Michael was just telling me everything that’s in his heart!”
“Well, next time, ” roared Phelan, “just let him tell you what’s in his head, and it won’t take half as long!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don’t know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.”
The counselor turns to her husband and inquires, “Is that true?”
The husband replies, “Well, not exactly. She’s the one that suffers, not me.”
What did the saint say when asked if he was completely naked? He said sure I disrobe everytime I see a dog.
There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very
concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them.
As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening
all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this
had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door
holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the
young man knew who was boss.
The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door
and the lad said, “Hi, my name’s Joe, I’m here for Flow. We’re going to the
show, is she ready to go?” The father looked him over and sent the kids on their
way.
The next lad arrived and said, “My name’s Eddie, I’m here for Betty,
we’re going to get some spaghetti, is she ready?” Father felt this one was okay
too, so off the two kids went.
The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started
off, “Hi, my name’s Chuck� –” and the farmer shot him.
Un hombre se muri� con el pene parado. A la hora de meterlo en el ata�d hubo problemas. Trataron de doblar el pene para todos los lados pero, una vez suelto, se levantaba de nuevo. Entonces, trataron de amarrarlo a una pierna pero se levantaba junto con la pierna. Por fin, un vecino dio consejo:
“C�rtenlo, engr�senlo y m�tanselo por el culo para enterrarlo con el cuerpo”.
Los presentes lo hallaron razonable y as� lo hicieron. Una vez hecho el asunto, notaron que del ojo del muerto sali� una l�grima que resbal� por la mejilla. La viuda, al ver la l�grima, musit� dirigi�ndose al muerto:
“�Oh, mi querido! �Y no eras t� quien dec�a que esto no dol�a?”
your mamas so fat, when she walked on to a big yellow school bus she said wheres the cream filling.
Q: Why does Helen Keller’s mother think that Helen is the reason
that their dog jumped off a cliff?
A: Because she walked up behind it and screamed
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!