Author: admin

A CoRnY JoKe

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ok there were these 3 guys walking along in the desert, the dry,
sandy, deserted desert after their plane crashed. So their
walking along delirious from hunger when they spot a lil shak in
the distance, & they were all like OMG there will be food
there!!! so they run up to this house and knok on the door:
“BANG BANG BANG!!”
and this lil old lady answers the door, giving them the once over
1st guy goes HI, were lost, we’re starving, please do you have
any food”
the lil old lady sais” well yes, ill get you food, but one of
you willl have to come in with me 1st” , so she chooses the 1st
and
cutest guy (natutally)and tells him to follow her, where she
leads him to her bedroom, where she then starts explaining about
the lack of
men in the deset, all the time the guys thinking OMG the horny
bugger what is she thinking? To answer his thoughts she pulls
off her cloths and goes ” give it to me give it to me”.The poor
guy looks at her ugly wrinkled body and shudders, but if thats
not bad enough her pussy is all pussy yellow and gross so he
sais no (naturally) but she goes fine, no sex no food. The guy
driven by hunger goes “oh,… ok” just as he spots some
vegetables comeing out of the cuppord, so he sais one minute so
he can get ready. While ‘getting ready’ he grabs some corn out
of the cuppord and is just about to eat it then jump out of the
window when he thinks of his friends, then he decides, well this
lil old lady’s eye sight cant be too good, ill just screw her
using they corn. like heck i aint touchen her. So he calls out
to her
“ready!”
and he starts screwin her with this corn next to the cupporn,
and when one cob gets soggy he throws it out the window and just
continous with another peice untill finaly she sais that shes
“had enough”and as promised she puts her clothes back on “thank
goodness” adn prepares a huge meal, a huge tasty meal and takes
it out side to his friends . but to the guys surprise his
friends say
“no its ok, where not hungry”
“why not??!!” the 1st guy sais thinking he didnt go through that
disturbing experience for nothing…… then his freind replies
“it’s cool, were really full from that creamed corn you through
out the window to us”

And that boys and girls is one corny joke

Mexican is at border

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A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now.” The mexican man pleads with them, “No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for him and says “Ok, I’ll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence”. The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, “The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence.” The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, “Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?”

You know you are a teacher if…

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You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
You want to slap the next person who says “Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free.”
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe “Shallow gene pool” should have its own box in the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
You have no life between August to June.
When you mention “Vegetables” you’re not talking about a food group.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozak.
You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
You’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would “Never DREAM” of doing your job.
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
You know you are in for a major project when a parent says “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss. I think it would be such fun.”
You want to choke a person when he or she says “Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you.”
Meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question “Why is this kid like this?”

Fascinate in a Sentence

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During a political debate the politicians were asked to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
The first one, a democrat, came up with an answer right away. He said, “One of my hobbies is painting, and no matter if I paint with water colors, or oils I always fascinate people with my work.”

The second politician, the republican, said “My grandfather was a magician, and when ever he performed a trick be it with cards, or hoops, or magic balls he would always fascinate us.”

The third politician, an independent, said “I don’t know if I can do that.”

The MC of the debate said, “Go ahead take a couple of minutes then give it your best.”

The third politician thought for a while then said, “I know this gal, one time she went to the store to buy a new blouse. The blouse had ten buttons on it, but when she went to button it her boobs were so big that she could only fasten eight.”